A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been hiding in the closet and watches me when i dress. Sometimes i sleep on the couch and will be awakened by him hiding and touching my leg, foot or hair. I will be watching TV laying on the couch and if i get up to use the bathroom or go to get something in another room he has recently started to try to hide under the couch cushions, I guess he expects me not to notice him and lay back down. I have told him I do not understand this behavior and he says I wasnt suppose to see him and acts irritated. Ive tried talking to him but dont really know what to say i dont want to fight, but avoiding this seems to be intensifying the strange behavior. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): He is a voyeur or 'peeping tom'. Someone who is sexually aroused by secretly watching others. It is outside the normal sexual range. It is not a fetish but called paraphilia. If you have not known him for very long it might be an idea to do a background check. In case this behaviour has been with him for a long time...as if often the case... and he has done it to others who objected! Talking to him about it might not work as it 'spoils' the thrill when you know they are doing it to you. The whole idea is that you don't know they are doing it. That's the main sexual 'rush' they get from it. And they find it very embarrassing when they are the ones suddenly exposed! So don't expect to get much sense out of him. He wont want to give you a break down account of who he spies on, how it makes him feel and what he does to relieve the excitement!
Research the subject as it will help you to understand him far better than he will be able to explain himself. Not that he seems prepared to do so. Turning on you in anger is a defense mechanism. He might benefit from therapy as many with this problem had damaged childhoods. Don't freak out just do some self educating and it will assist you to deal with this matter in a controlled manner.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): I would guess it's some strange sexual fantasy, he is probably way to embarrassed to suggest it or maybe you not knowing is part of the fantasy... Who knows, this is very strange.
If it continues I would ask him to talk to someone professional!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): Maybe he's secretly into voyeurism and acting out that fantasy with you.
Definitely ask him what's going on. This is indeed very strange behavior. Update us!
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