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Why does my girlfriend always ask me to stop?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2014)
A male United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

when me and my girlfriend are fooling every time i can get her to the point where she wants to cry from pleasure. she tenses up very tightly and begs me to stop and makes me stop and i do. she says that she cant go any farther and when i ask why she says she just can't. can someone please help me out with what is happening and what to do about it. i do not think she ever had the big o and i always want to keep going but she makes me stop because it is to overwhelming for her. what should i do about this and what is happening?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014):

I used to fake orgasms mostly because my husband would keep on trying to get me to orgasm..and pressure me..It was extremely sore.... I would tell him to stop because it felt too good but honestly it felt horrible. I would just take the sex until he was done and washed off..then I would masturbate and try to cum..needless to say he is my ex...I would definitely talk about it..I did tell him I faked it for years..he was crushed.. then we communicated had great sex after....found out I was a squirter.

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A female reader, dinosaurexx United States +, writes (12 July 2010):

dinosaurexx agony auntThere are a few reasons why she could be doing this.

My bet is that she may not have ever had an orgasm before, and your getting her almost there, and she gets that feeling like she's going to pee.

I imagine that that feeling could be scary if you didn't know what it was, because I wouldn't want to pee all over my boyfriend :/

You need to talk to her about it and find out what the problem is. She's the only one who can tell you. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

When shes tensing up it means that shes close to an orgasm and its very common for girls to push you away at this time because she has no control over her body and what its doing. Some girls go into convulsions or twitch or shake. That's because an orgasm is actually muscle spasms. She might be embarrassed about that. Also she may be near orgasm but be uncomfortable with what your doing. If your rubbing her clit, don't be so rough or to soft. Try getting your index and your middle finger on either side of it and rotate them slowly then slowly build up speed and roughness, this is because her clit may be to sensitive for direct contact and it may make her want to push you away if its stimulated like that. Also try to convince her to keep going without actually saying please etc. Talk to her calmly in a seductive tone like "I'm going to make you feel good if i continue baby" or something like that. Also if she pushes you away from down there just go back to kissing and making out with her stroke her body then try again in a few minutes.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (11 July 2010):

Basschick agony auntGuilt. Shame. Fear. Three very paralyzing thiings that will stop you cold in your tracks. Also you don't mention if she's a virgin, if so she may not be ready to go all the way.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (11 July 2010):

janniepeg agony auntDoes fooling around mean fingering or actual sex? I push my boyfriend's hand away when he touches my clit too much it becomes raw. I wanted him to touch other areas too, like my labia and the opening. I have never asked him to stop when he's inside me. Clitoral stimulation can be too much, but a strong G spot orgasm feels like an explosion, it's overwhelming but not unbearable. So clarify this and your answer will be different.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

heh it is also possible that she is embarassed to release through tears during sexs...

im sure she knows what an orgasm feels like if shes masturbated before, though i think having an orgasm through intercourse is kind of a different feeling, perhaps more intense- something ive never really had myself...

if she is the same like me (and knows the feeling) the tears could also be a symbol of immense love. The feelings that are rushing over her physically and emotionally... its actually a very good thing if this is the case.

Look up other posts where gfs cry during sex- many will say they are physically feeling love.

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A female reader, alwayznd4eva116 United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

alwayznd4eva116 agony auntYeah, I do it too. I never had a vaginal orgasm bcuz just like ur gf, I have to stop it. The pain for me is unbareable. I try to keep going and focus on having tha orgasm but its hard lol. But I'm glad yu wrote about it bcuz now I'm not the only one whu does it.!

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A female reader, sueric United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

Been there, done that. First ask your girl if she is willig to use a vibrator in front of you while you masterbate. If so, place folded towels under her hips and tell her to let it go. She is probably afraid that she is going to pee on herself, the bed and you. A REAL good one makes you feel like you have to pee. Good luck, tell her to trust herself and you and enjoy one another

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A female reader, LLindy87 United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

LLindy87 agony auntlol I do the same thing sometimes, an orgasm is actually sometimes too much for me. It feels so out of control and mainly I asked to stop at times just because I can't handle the extremity of it all. LOL, maybe you're just that good haha. Eventually, I did let it go on and it was sooo worth it, but you'll have to wait until your gf is ready for it. Keep at it, you're apparently doing something right. haha.

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A female reader, inquisitivequiet United States +, writes (11 July 2010):

She could be afraid. The female orgasm often mimics the same sensation that you get when you have to urinate. Who knows? Maybe she has had an orgasm- because after climax, the clitoris becomes EXTREMELY sensitive and it can be difficult for an amateur to continue after her first orgasm. I myself find it hard to keep going when my mate pushes me into that explosive moment. The best advice that I can give you is to ask her if she has had an orgasm and if that is why she does not want to go one once you get her aroused. If she hasn't had an orgasm yet- encourage her to try and have one- it is truly a magical experience that every woman (that I know of) enjoys greatly. She could be afraid of what may happen if you continue- she may just be extremely sensitive. At any rate- you're certainly doing something right, because she's begging you to stop when it feels too good. You should be proud of yourself, no need to feel awkward about it.

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