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Why do some women want to control their ex boyfriends life?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Simple Question: Why do women control or want to control their ex boyfriends? even after several years ,and several new relationships.

Ex.

I have a friend who remains friends with some and/or still contact ALL their ex's, but completely gets mad and flips out if they talk to any female shes knows, not necessarily flirting but him just saying "hi how arr you" and casual conversation. She would cut off close friendships with a person for awhile if they talk to any of her ex's until shes not mad anymore and these are ppl she may have dated more then 6 years ago. Its odd a 25 year old female would act like that. She flipped out on me because her ex of 4 yrss ago had a casual conversation with, her claiming he was "hardcore flirting" even though she was no where around she made up stories that she was or, overheard or had voice recordings of our conversation.And she does this with everyone, not to mention she throws several parties and 98% of then men are her ex and yes she is as controlling with each one.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (30 January 2012):

YouWish agony auntThis does happen, unfortunately. Not often, but it does. Her ego is the reason it happens along with her insecurity. She flips out at her exes because to know that they're moving on, talking to other women and such means that she wasn't good enough, and these other women are better.

I blame the guys who are still in contact with her for not telling her to leave them alone! When you break up with someone, you don't keep in contact with them, and to do so gets in the way of emotional healing and growth in the romance department. It also makes her a lot more unattractive to have so much baggage.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntShe can only control her exes and her friends if these people LET her. I would honestly ignore her and not have her as a close friend, because obviously she has no clue what friendship is about.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (30 January 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntSounds like she is a collector. I've run across a few in my life. They believe in a twisted way that the people they have known Men and women are their property. They put a great deal of energy into controlling them and enforcing their rules. Eventually the weight of the accumulated "friends" breaks the system and they get into healthier relationships.

You obviously don't like being "owned" so you should distance yourself from this person. She won't like it but it is as much for her good as for your sanity

FA

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