A
female
age
30-35,
*nle_me
writes:hi it's my first time posting here! i just wanted to ask is why am i feeling so bad for leaving my boyfriend? we were going out for almost 2 years and i endured his lies secret conversation with girls, secret outings with his immature friends, insults and fair share of screaming at me. i started slowly being paranoid and checking his texts and Facebook and i always wanted to be with him to see what he's doing and who he's with. after a year i started losing trust fast and my feelings were dropping for him because whenever i saw him i'd think about the bad stuff and qustion him and doubt him, which made us fight more. He'd always deny everything he did and cover up with more lies that i'd swallow and i shut up about it even tho i knew he was lying. All this so we wouldnt fight. I go to a point where i was stressing even when i went down south with parent to relax. All i would do is stress spy on his stuff and cry. Recently, about a month or so, i stopped doing all thatbecause i was done with feeling that way, and slowly my feelings for him died down. Now i found myself going out with my friends and not caring about seeing my bf and even started talking with other guys (note: i've never cheated on my bf, and never talked to other guys out of respect to my relationship.) monday, i found another conversation with a girl starting by "hey cutyyyy" and i was done i felt it was time to break up,so i did. I cried for 3 days and then he started to call me every 10 minutes begging for me to take him back. Finally, i told him that i couldn't be with him anymore because i was too far gone and i didn't trust him anymore and i knew that he would never change.He put me through terrible situations after i gave him everything, all my love and he was taking it for granted. But then i think about the good times we had and it breaks my heart. Why do i even bother to feel so bad? :(
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female
reader, Laurennpaigeeee  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 I honestly think you did the right thing, you cannot let guys do that to you, I have been in the same situation as you, with the fighting and breaking up, but we got back together. You just have to think of it this way, your a pretty girl with a good head on your shoulders, just keep telling yourself that, and everything gets better with time, that's a saying i tell my friends when they are going through a rough time, i promise everything will get better you just have to believe it (: i hope my answer helps you.
Much Love 3
A
female
reader, Placebogirl  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 A simular situation happened to me. You did the right thing - you don't need a relationship where you have to spy on them because you can't trust them and they constantly go behind your back.
You feel bad because you spent a lot time with him, so you have so many memories of things you two did together, good and bad times. You obviously cared a lot about him to be with him for that length of time so it will take a while for those feelings to fade.
You'll feel better over time, and now you can move on with your life, have fun with your friends and eventually find a new boyfriend. You don't need him dragging you down like he was!
:)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 November 2011):
 First of all, you did what so many other people don't have the courage to do. You made the break from someone who was clearly immature and toxic. You did the right thing in leaving him.
You were with him for two years and have a history with him. I'm sure you and he experienced a lot of "firsts" when it came to growing up, and it's very natural to mourn a relationship ended, even one that turned out to be bad. So let yourself feel bad because it means you're human and you did care about him. But don't let it change your resolve, and you are in a dangerous position to start wavering.
Also, whenever you start thinking about the good times, also keep in mind the education you just learned about this relationship. A real boyfriend doesn't need to be checked up on and spied on. A real man doesn't need secrets like that. You should never again get to the point of stress, subterfuge, and anxiety over trusting a guy. If you're combing over a guy's cell phone texts or messages or emails, then it's over. No one should ever be doing that in a relationship.
You learned lessons that have come at the cost of emotional pain. That is a high price, but you did the right thing in ending things so that you can take your newfound intelligence forward, and hopefully the next relationship you are in will be with someone a lot more mature.
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A
female
reader, bluegreen  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 You did the right thing for yourself, you should never allow yourself to be mistreated again.
You feel about leaving him, yes it is normal, 2 years is quite a span of time and you got used to his presence, now you feel alone and that you did something wrong to made him to that.
Nah, i bet a better guy would come along. No worries, the guy could never find a better girl for him if he would stay the same. Congratulations you're free from his lies, you should be relieved.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 November 2011):
 What an ironic submittal....
First, you write, "...why am i feeling so bad for leaving my boyfriend?"
THEN, you list about a dozen reasons why you SHOULDN'T feel bad for leaving the rat!!!!
Keep reading your second paragraph until it sinks in....
Good luck....
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