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How do I prove to her that I've changed and want her back?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid, 3 weeks ago I broke up with the most beautiful, perfect girl a boy like me could ever hope to meet. We had been going out for a year and a half and in the last few months I completely lost track of how much she meant to me and what was important, I started ignoring her, being a bit flirty with other girls, being drunk too often. Then I was at a friends house party and she had also been invited which made me quite angry and jealous for absolutely no reason and I just lost it and basically said we should take a break.

For a week after that I tried to get over it, enjoy myself, concentrate on other things but I can't hide from the fact i truely love her. What can I do to show her how sorry I am, prove I've changed and above all, win her back?

View related questions: a break, broke up, drunk, flirt, jealous

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (28 November 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntThe question is have you truly changed?? 3 weeks is an awful short time for someone to TRULY change their ways. It takes months, years. Weeks, I doubt it.

Have you completely quit the drinking and being flirty with other girls?

You can ask your ex to give you a second chance and show her you're ready to be a better boyfriend to her. Write her a letter showing how much you love her. But I'm afraid it might be too soon. Give it a shot. If she shoots you down (can you blame her?), then give it a few months of working on yourself then try again.

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A female reader, AuntDaisy United Kingdom +, writes (27 November 2011):

AuntDaisy agony auntAs a girl who has recently been treated similar to this, i think that to get her back, you'd have to pull something special out the bag. First things first, why did you lose sight of how much you love her? There is a reason you suggested a break. I can tell from your post how sorry and how much you regret the decision you made however it is up to you to decide how best to win her back. I will say however a girl loves to be treated and made to feel like she's loved. If you were with her for a year and a half, you kno wher very well and will know what she likes and loves.

But like i said there is a reason you suggested a break. And to be honest she's probably very hurt over what's happened. Speaking from experience you need to decide if you really want her back or not. Her heart is not a play thing for you to toy with whenever you get the urge or twang of sentiment. If you truely want her back then go for it and win her back. But be preapared for a tough ride. It is not going to be easy to win her, her trust, and her respect back overnight. You have to understand you've hurt her and you need to decide whether this is just a whim that you are going through (wanting her back). Because just in fairness to her it would be cruel to give her the hope that you do in fact love her. Once you know what you want, then go for it. If you truely do feel like you've made a mistake, and judging by your message it seems you do, then go for it and i wish you the best and hope it all works out.

p.s Flowers and chocs, always the best way to start ;)

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A female reader, bluegreen Philippines +, writes (27 November 2011):

bluegreen agony auntCourt her, make her feel that you need her and don't ever blow this chance again. She's a princess.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 November 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI suggest you go to your local Hallmark (or whatever "stationery" store you have over there in jolly old England)... and buy an "I'm sorry" card.... Make a copy of this submittal, and add IT in to the card along with the most heartfelt apology that you've ever written... and mail it to her. Follow up with flowers that you can best determine will arrive at her home the same day as the card....

Then, sit down and PRAY that the above two efforts have the desired effect. (If they don't... then you're dead meat!!!!)

Good luck....

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A female reader, onle_me Canada +, writes (27 November 2011):

i had to break up with my boyfriend 3 days ago because of him being like that, except it didn't happen once or twice, it was all the time. i endured a year and a half of lies finding conversations with girls on facebook and text mssg. i've had enough of crying and stressing myself out, so i left him.

If you're putting your gf in this situation and it's the first time you do it, and if you actually really love her, get her back and make sur to never do anything like that again. You don't do bad things to the people you love.. we all have our ups and downs that make us act like idiots, but once you do a mistake and see your significant other hurt, you make sur you never do the same mistake twice.

So if you love her , make it up to her by showing the opposite of what you've been doing, so she sees your efforts.

If you think that you'll be flirting with other girls again and not paying attention to your gf, let her go.. let her go so she can heal and not have to go through with the pain of finding her bf flirting with other girls..

i'd ather be alone than having the guy i love and give all my love to and devotion do stuff like that behind my back over and over and promising to change. a year and a half is too much..

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