A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After knowing this man for over 8 years and being friends, we decided to take things to another level. He is one of the funniest and likeable people I have ever met. When we made it official, so many of his friends and family reached out to me to get to know me, saying I must be something special if he decided to be in a relationship with me. He is in the Marines, so I knew from the beginning that it would be a very different type of relationship. On his last leave home, we had the most amazing time, it felt so natural and so perfect. The night before he left he told me that he loved me, that he would never hurt me, and that he couldn't wait to come home to me.He got deployed in August. We promised to write each other every day, which I did. I sent him the letters usually twice a week, and then always a care package every other week. He did have email access, so we got to talk through that as well. A little over a month ago he got stationed on a Navy base, and therefore has WiFi, so we were able to talk over Facebook. The problem was, I barely ever heard from him. I felt like I was always initiating the conversation, and he stopped telling me he missed me and loved me. On top of that, he would always pay attention to this other girl, liking and commenting on her page, and totally ignore mine. I know, I know, it's only Facebook. So I told him that I would appreciate a little more effort, and that it would really mean a lot if he would tell me that he loved me more. I think that is something you should do naturally, and given our situation, something you should def make an effort for. After that message, I saw he read it and then did not respond for two days. On Thanksgiving, I was extremely frustrated. But instead of fighting him, I tried to realize that he may just be under a lot of stress. So I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and said I was thankful for him in my life. After seeing that he read that as well, and still choose to ignore me, I told him I knew I didn't deserve that. He agreed and said that after thinking things through, he was done. That he just doesn't love me anymore and I deserve better. It is absolutely breaking my heart. Did I ask for too much? Why didn't I mean enough for him to try and make an effort? And on top of that, I wrote him back, twice, and he has read the messages and continued to ignore me! How do I just forget and move on? I know I deserve acknowledgement, but I am not going to beg for someone to love me. Why is this so hard to let go?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 December 2013):
 Being a nice guy when you are just friends is a LOT easier then being a good BF when you are dating (for SOME guys).
He liked you and the IDEA of a GF back home, but in reality he didn't WANT a relationship. But having a girl to write to and who CARES about you enough to make care packages, write letters and e-mails is "every soldiers" dream. Specially during deployments.
When he got back from Deployment he was "back to normal" which means state-side and here can can pick up girls left and right - unlike in Afghanistan. So all of a sudden having a GF is a hindrance. You were cramping his style, in his eyes.
Sorry, that has got to hurt. My advice, un-friend him and delete all pictures of him and you on Facebook, BLOCK his number, set up your e-mail so his goes either in the trash folder/spam - pretend you NEVER dated. I know that is kind of hard but it's easier then knowing you dated a piece of crap. If he contacts you when he comes home on leave next time, please for your OWN sake tell him to F off, kick rock or go fly a kite.
You DID NOTHING wrong in wanting him to put forth and effort- You had shown him how much you put forth by writing letters, care packages and all that. You didn't ask for constant 24/7 contact.
Why is so hard to let go? Because YOU still SEE him as that good guy you KNEW before dating. NOT the emotionally unavailable dude that dumped you over freaking Facebook.
Now I KNOW the military job is stressful - my husband retired after 26 years in the Army, this year, so I KNOW. I know how hard deployment can be on a soldier, but there really is no excuse for him using you and the discarding you when he has to put forth an effort.
Now YOU may WANT closure or an apology or whatever from him so you "feel" you can move on. Don't wait for that. Remove him from your live and LET him go. YOU can do a lot better then him.
Chin up.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 Honey, he was an ass and there is nothing less than what I would expect from a guy, to try and make an effort in making this LDR work.
It seems like during the time, he either realised that he was not ready for a serious relationship or simply met someone else. Either way, you did nothing wrong and just put your trust in the wrong guy.
You are hurting, just let yourself grieve the loss, but go cold turkey, stop all contact and remove him as your contact on face book. You need to move on and put this down to bad experience.
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