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Why didn't he ask me out on a second date?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2014)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I went on a blind date the other week.(we both know what each other looks like) He was very excited about meeting me-so he drove 2 hours to my town so we could go out to dinner. I let him pick me up at my house ..we went to eat and the conversation never stopped. We both talked a lot. He did bring up his ex wife ALOT. Which I wasn't upset by, but he has had quite an ordeal with attorneys, child support, money, ect. All which he probably told me too much about in detail for a first date. But I listened and tried to empathize with him and I also talked some about my past relationship experiences. We came back to my house after dinner..I suggested going to see a movie but he said "well then we cant talk" so I took it as he was enjoying talking so we literally sat and talked for 5 hours while watching t.v. He was hungry mid way thru so I did make him something to eat..twice He is on a fitness kick so he eats often and I just made eggs with veggies...He even said " I am being really high maintenance right now" Anyways, it was getting late..1 AM and I knew we were both tired. I told him if he didn't want to drive the distance home he could stay in my guest room to which he agreed. NOthing happened....I am not that kind of girl..... So the next morning he had cereal and talked a ittle bit watching the news and def. didn't rush off...but I gave him a hug and said I enjoyed talking and to drive safe home and over all I felt like he was into me. BUT we haven't talked much since. He texted to say he made it home and to thank me for letting him stay and also for the feeding him. And also the next day to say have a great day and to let me know he was coming down with something. I checked in with him the next day to see if he felt better to which he said he felt terrible, and we have not talked since. I felt like overall it went well.....why would he not ask me out again and why would he stay so long and talk if he was not interested?? I feel confused.

View related questions: ex-wife, his ex, money, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2014):

I guess I could check on him again. I did just the one time and he felt awful, and didn't seem like texting more. So I just left it go. I know he is very picky when it comes to dating ( as I am) so I just thought maybe I didn't pass "the test". Who knows?!! I know he could be very sick but I felt like if he was interested he would of sent me a text or something more than what he did.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2014):

Good grief call him, he might be really unwell!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (9 April 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntA friend of mine was in bed for a week with a bad flu. She probably should have gone to the hospital. A neighbor is on bed rest recovering from a case of pneumonia, he was hospitalized for 3 days. These are otherwise healthy, physically fit people in their 40s and 50s.

I don't know where you live but there seems to be a lot of illnesses going around, the type that knock you off your feet and incapable of doing much of anything!

Don't assume. Check in on him, as SVC suggested!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 April 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwell the last time you spoke to him he was feeling terrible right?

is it remotely possible he's still sick? my husband just finished THREE weeks of feeling like crud because he had Pneumonia. He was able to get up and go to work but other than that he was asleep pretty much 24/7

it is possible his feeling terrible meant he was getting VERY sick....

have you tried to contact him since he said he felt terrible?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2014):

Thanks honeypie for responding. It does suck that I don't really know why. I would think if he was not into me then he wouldn't of stayed and talked for SO long. So maybe he was hoping to get some action ? I know if I am not into someone I will not stay that long and talk about everything and anything. I would chat for a bit then excuse myself for the long drive ahead........

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 April 2014):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe he was looking for "one of those girls" ( you know the ones that put out) and since you aren't one he backed off.

It does sound kind of weird that he just dropped off the radar after THAT much talking.

My guess is, he is still dealing with the divorce and isn't really ready to date. If friends asked him to take you out (because they felt you two would hit it off) he might have asked you out to get them to STOP setting him up.

It kind of sucks that he can't even be bothered to tell you.

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