A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts and uncles,I've been with my bf for almost a year now. He has not been able to make me have an orgasm. He expressed it to me that he feels so sad that he can't do that. I've made him cum quite often, but sometimes he used his hand to help... I don't consider that a problem. I am really happy with the relationship, but I can't help it but feel sad that if I end up being together with him for the rest of my life, I'll never experience it with him. He's my first, so I've actually never had an orgasm with another guy. I can make myself orgasm, though. I'm a little bit shy to show him how I do it, but he has never asked to watch. I've watched him masturbate before, though.I want him to understand that I don't blame him... Actually I blame myself more. But I really want to experience this with him. What should I do with the situation? I don't want to suggest him to "improve" or else he'd feel like a poor lover. He is not! He tries hard... but it just doesn't work. Why? We love each other very much and other than him not being able to make me cum, our relationship has been amazing, more than I can ever ask for.Thanks very much.
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female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (24 February 2011):
Sometimes i find it hard to orgasm through penetrative sex, so i always guide his hand and tell him what i like.
Remember men will never learn about how to make a woman tick unless you give them a little fun lesson. Get him to put his hand on yours and then you can show him where and how you like to be touched, remove your own hand and let him have a go. Remember us women are more complicated then men. Don't feel bad about not having the big O during sex.
A
male
reader, alex74 +, writes (23 February 2011):
 If you can make yourself have an orgasm, then so can he. I can't bring my wife to orgasm during sex, but I can "finish her off" with my hands. Long ago, she instructed me how and isn't shy about "directing" me to this day.
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A
female
reader, TeaLady +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Your shyness is part of the problem. Sex is not about being inhibited. If either one of you are not confident and open, than it's going to make it difficult to achieve orgasm. If you can't be totally at ease with sex, it is one of two things: either you are not supposed to be having sex with him or at all. Maybe he is not for you or maybe you are not ready for sex. Either one is okay.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): "I'm a little bit shy to show him how I do it"
That is the problem, shy = shame, and sex and pleasure are nothing to be ashamed of.
That is why.
You need to show him how you do it, and then let him practice with you, and both of you work together and it will be great eventually. However, your shyness must be overcome first.
No blame to you or him, just both of you give your understanding.
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