A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:why cant i get a normal boyfriend? im 18 and i have never had a steady relationship. my longest relationship was 3 weeks and the guy didnt even spend that much time with me, i think he just wanted a girlfriend just to SAY he had a girlfriend. i dont dress slutty or anything, i am attractive but guys just keep using me to get sex. i never gave it to them and had sex with only one person because i really liked him. i thought he really liked me too but he just wanted sex and nothing else. what am i doing wrong? will i ever find a guy who really cares about me and doesnt just want to use me? i mean is it possible to meet a decent guy in college who likes me for me?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all the answers!! that made me feel a little better!
A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (4 June 2008):
 i have this problem all the time my longest relationship was roughly a month but rather my bfs always leave me for someone else or cheat. I get sick and tired of it after a while, but i realised that there wasnt a problem with me only the people i was dating. Some relationships dont work out it is not your fault or mine for that matter it just happens and thats life. in order for us to recognize the good in our lives we have to experiance the bad first. Its all a part of growing up. you just havent met the right guy yet and we are so young we still have the whole of our lives ahead of us whats the point in beating yourself up over something so small? the world is so big and college is so small. when you go to uni trust me theres a bigger majority and you meet people on your own wavelength and you will when you go to work too or whatever your future goals are. The environmnent you are in at the moment is so small dont expect to meet mister right! but have fun dating the losers. Sex based relationships arent great but you will find someone, love yourself first and the rest is easy.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Maybe you're trying too hard. I know it's difficult at your age, but just relax and let things take their normal course. Do things that interest you ... school, hobbies, whatever ... and sooner or later somebody will turn up who WILL like you just for you.
Oh, and don't overlook the guys you already know. There's a very good chance that there's already a guy you know who would just LOVE to get a chance to form a good relationship with you, just for you, but you don't think of him in "that way" now and he's not sure how he can change that. Look around.
And do relax. It will come. Stay alert, stay active, meet people, and DON'T lower your standards. You are precious, and you never need to compromise just to "have a boyfriend".
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Yes, there are definately guys that will like you for who you are!
As far as what you are doing wrong, I wouldn't think about it that way. You need to get to know someone really well so that you will have time to see if YOU really like that person and if you do, you should see where his intentions are. Being so young, there is a lot of them out there that think that sex is the answer. But guys have feelings, too.
It's all about finding a good person at the right time. These guys might be good boyfriends but not right now Or they could be complete jerks. I would just take your time and date for a while, dont have sex because you like them, you need to make sure that they really like you, too. Sex wont make someone like you!
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