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Why can't I get a boyfriend?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have never had a boyfriend. Last year i asked out a guy that i liked and he said no. Ever since i have not been able to talk with boys face to face. The guy that i liked a month ago (i liked him for about a year) found out that i liked him and we havent spoken ever since. I just seem to have no confidence anymore and i feel depressed because all my friends have wonderful boyfriends who really care about them and have dated loads of guys before. I am the odd one out, I have never been kissed and no guy i have ever liked has ever showed even the slightest interest in me. I have been told that i am very pretty and photogenic and i am very slim but then why dont boys like me. Why can't I get a boyfriend? is my simple question.

View related questions: confidence, depressed, never had a boyfriend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):

My offer to you is, that you should go to a place that you Know well, stay there for about four-five days, and while you re staying there you might bump into a boy, like I did once, when I went camping, I bumped into a boy we both then felt very strange inside, as if we knew each other.

The same thing can happen to you.

Your writer,

Svetlana.

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A female reader, Chowder Hong Kong +, writes (12 January 2008):

Chowder agony auntHey, don't worry about it, all right? You are far from being alone in this!

I'm 17, turning 18 later this year, and I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date. Come to think of it, nobody's ever even asked me out before, except for this one guy who immediately won first place on my list of 'people I despise' that very day I met him (so yes, I rejected him right away without any hesitation). Neither one of the three guys I've ever liked (guess what, I've been hopelessly in love with one of them for a wee bit more than three years now) showed interest towards me. It's a miserable life being a single, I know, but I decided to quit looking.

High school relationships, as I'm told, rarely last longer than a year or two. Fewer have gone into the stage of marriage. I know that at times when you feel alone (i.e. whilst watching a romantic film or seeing your friends together with their partners), it seems like just about any guy would do, as long as you have a boyfriend. But when you think about the consequences, you would probably risk a heartbreak and perhaps regret when/if you do break up before long. Trust me, the easy way out is to just stop looking, be yourself, and wait; you're still (really) young, and have decades ahead of you.

Regarding the reason as to why you don't have a boyfriend at the moment... I'll be honest. Nobody knows. It's most probably not about your looks. Besides, nobody can judge you. I bet there are guys out there who like you, but just haven't decided how to tell you. Believe me, real life isn't like Hollywood; guys don't always have the courage to ask girls out!

So just let things be - they will come! =)

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A male reader, xylplxym United States +, writes (12 January 2008):

Don't ever feel like the odd one out for not being with anyone. To me it seems that you see every one getting together so naturally you want to do it too. I used to be there myself until i realized it's not something to get worked up over. Now i've never had a girlfiend but looking at my friends i can tell you that their relationships aren't that great. I mean getting with a girl cuz she's pretty, then a few weeks (if that) later you break up, or worse you don't and the relationship dies but no one made the decision to end it, ect. No, definitely not for me. Dating in highschool is overrated so don't get depressed because you haven't done it.

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A female reader, Rina South Africa +, writes (10 January 2008):

Hey there well let see do you talk to boys at all?

And if you do what do you guys talk about?

Do you show that you are interested in a relationship.

Well do me a favor mail me the ans and we can sort out thye little problem im sure it something stupid

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A female reader, xxbaybeegal United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2008):

xxbaybeegal agony auntlike every1 sed ur trying way hard, relax a lil but dont ask a boy out let them ask you out other wise it make it look desperate so get a new look like the laura sed, relax and the love fling happen on its own

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008):

same with me except im not so confident about my appearance as you! just go with things. u probs feel like me, that you are way too old not to have had a boy frend, but at the end of the day meeting guys gets much easier as you get older and u will gt a bf someday.

maybe you are too good looking for the guys you know and they are intimidated by you? or maybe you hold looks in too higher priority and despite your good looks, your personality isnt great with guys? i would go with the latter according to what you have described. advice: get to know some guys you feel comfortable with as mates and gradually you will become more comfy around guys.

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (9 January 2008):

It's because you are trying too hard.Give it time,you'll soon meet someone.I also used to feel as though i'll never have a girl coz they used to turn me down.Now i have a very beautiful girl who my friends even admire.With time everything will change.

Take care.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (9 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntMaybe , you need to overhaul your appearance. Go get the new hairstyle that suits you and a new dress that would make you gorgeous. The males are attracted by visuals and the new you would attract a lot of new admirers.

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A male reader, Dr Vendetta United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2008):

Dr Vendetta agony auntBecause Boys are Just as scared as you are... etc etc

I didn't have my first kiss untill i was 19. am i hidious? No... well.. i don't think so. actually i'm not. i'm no Fabio ( old refference to a hunky Italian Stud) but i get by.

High school romances are.. cute at best. and always end in disaster from what i've seen over the years.

Honestly.. you need to know that once you leave high school, you're going to become a little stunner.. as i have found out.. ( Thanks facebook!! ) with the people i went to school with.

once that happens i'll be beating guys off with a Stick.

let it happen naturally.

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