A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number.Months and months later he begged to meet me, kept changing the date. I only wanted too so I could stand him up. He is a real jerk. Predictably he never met up with me.I looked on his Facebook page and he was already dating someone else, while begging me back. He then blew up my phone with verbally abusive texts. And then he bragged that his life was better off without me. Why is it always ok for the dumper to be an ass? I'm sick and tired of doing the right thing, despite being the dumpee, more often than not!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 October 2013):
 Yes, how is the pregnancy? And what did your fiance/boyfriend suggest you do to deal with the ex anyway? It would seem to me to be a good thing to get his support with this.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2013):
 Weren't you in the final weeks of pregnancy ? You are having a baby soon, or maybe you had it already... is it possible you that at this time you find the energy to focus over something that happened over a year ago ? let it go- it's over and done, maybe this guy hurt you somehow- but now he doesn't , and he won't ever be able to do it anymore- at the end of the day that's what counts, isn't it ?
Plus, aren't you in another relationship now ? how would your boyfriend feel knowing your ex is still so much on your mind ?...
Look forward, not backward !
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (16 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell unfortunately took other advice and just ignored him. Should've gone to The police because he was harassing me. No one suggested this.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 October 2013):
What do you think should happen? They get a fine? They go to prison? They are forced to feel miserable for x amount of time?
The best revenge is to live your life and be happy. Don't live in the past, that's just depressing.
How's the pregnancy going? Are you preparing for the future?
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 October 2013):
 It's not ok. My point is, if they are no longer In your life it makes no difference. They can be as psycho as they like, but you don't have to know what they do/ say, and therefore it doesn't affect you. No more games like arranging a date just so you can stand them up - that's counterproductive. No contact means nothing at all, even if they badger you 20 times a day to get back together. Let the drama stay with them and not infiltrate your life.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (8 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionStill why is it always ok for the dumper to be psycho?
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (8 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's what I do- I always cut people like this off.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 October 2013):
Friend of a friend is a bad scenario because it's much harder to cut them off completely. That's what you have to do - cut them off - so you don't even have to witness any assclown behaviour.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (7 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo why are dumpers always allowed to be assholes? Where's karma because it never seems to exist!
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (4 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne was a friend of a friend. Ironically that was probably the worst breakup I've had.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 October 2013):
Where are you finding these guys?
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (2 October 2013):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've never contacted and deleted everything. But why do they never regret it? I'm sick and tired of doing the right thing, when it's always ok for the dumper to play games and harrass dumpees. Acting like victim and acting like a psycho.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (1 October 2013):
 It is you giving him the power to gloat and be vindictive. Don't contact him, don't respond if he contacts you... and don't try to punish him! Its over... he is a jerk... you already know this... so... my advice is move on! Only then can he not have the power over you. xx
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (1 October 2013):
Some people are just jerks, and they don't break up either normally/ nicely or cleanly. It's not "OK", it's just a sad fact of life. Don't stoop to their level.
I think in this situation you didn't help yourself by having communication with him afterwards and looking at his facebook page. Trying to set up a date so you could stand him up wasn't helpful.
You will move on quicker in the future by stopping all contact and not looking at facebook, twitter, asking mutual friends etc. Let the break be a clean one. Though I hope you don't get dumped by too many more jerks.
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