A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm just wondering why I'm feeling this way and if anyone else has been through this?I'm in my late 20s and have been living with my boyfriend for the past few months. We've been together for six years and have what I believe is a solid relationship. We love and trust each other unconditionally. Seen each other through everything..Now, at my age, it seems so many girls around me are getting pregnant.. and having kids to men they've only just MET in some cases. I'm one of those overly maternal people. I absolutely love kids. A parent drops their kid off at my office, I tend to be the person that ends up keeping them company, making sure they have something to eat etc. I just become instant parent!Anyway, I try to conceal my cluckiness around kids and babies. I know that I'm not in the right place yet for kids. My emotions (and my hormones) tell me there couldn't be a better time, but realistically, we don't own our own home, we're not married, I would like to have more in my savings to support a baby financially.. and there's still plenty of places I'd like to travel. I wonder how many people truely consider all these options before they have kids? Still, when I see people I know with their little babies, or young children, I start feeling overcome with emotion and feel like I can't wait to be a mum myself.. and I start thinking of all the fun places I'd take my children and the things I'd love to teach them.. and watching them grow etc... All these feelings overpower me. My partner seems scared by the way I am. These feelings sometimes scare me! The rational part of my mind says, "of course this is the wrong time!" My partner comments that I'm over maternal and I think at times he notices my having those feelings, he wants to run the other way!I've never pressured my boyfriend and I certainly know I'm not in the position to be a mother right now.I just want to know, has anyone else experienced these feelings. Are they normal.. and what do you think about how my boyfriend is acting? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (18 October 2011):
 I would look into a job where you could feel fulfilled in this capacity, possibly teaching, or volunteering with big brother/big sister, even babysitting like the first aunt mentioned. i think if you have that niche filled a little bit you won't feel so manic about you needing to be a mother right now. at the same time you want to be sure that you are in a relationship where you see it going in that direction..
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 No, personally I haven't ever felt like you, my not very strong maternal instinct was also supported by my environment, none of my friends had kids before 30 , we were all too busy with other stuff, and I think we spent our twenties more focused on how NOT to have babies than the opposite.
Nevertheless, I think you are perfectly normal, at your age many women feel like you ,both because of hormons and temperament/ personal preferences. If you love children, there's nothing wrong with that, no more that if you were crazy about animals or ballet or sport cars. To each his own. You still keep your broodiness valiantly in check, and are obviously capable of delaying the gratification of your maternal instinct to a better moment, better for you AND the baby, so ... no problem, I'd say.
I think it's also normal how your boyfriend reacts, I haven't met many men who were natural born fathers or were
execeptionally fond of children- which does not mean tehy can't be doting loving parents once the time comes, only, they don't think too much about it before.
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