A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This question is for all the guys, male, testosterone driven individuals. I have had bad experiences in my life with boyfriends. I have had the cheaters, liars, players, you name it. My current boyfriend happens to be a big liar. I am loosing my hopes to find an honest guy. I am 30 years old with a career and afraid to leave my current liar boyfriend to find another liar down the road again. Honestly, what is it with guys and honesty...or is it me demanding honesty? Come on!!! Are there any good guys left out there?I am tired of bad guys.. I am giving up, I think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): well! i guess this is a tough a question but to tell you the truth i kinda don't know what you classify as a lie.there are honest men out there.I would recommend that you listen to Tony Robbins tape on relationships.I am currently having problems in my relationship because I fnk my woman is also a liar but i think its a would in which we have to scrutinize people with eyes wide opened.So you are a woman and you'll never have a problem getting guys around you but for me its painful work.Just attract them and screen them.To answer you, there are honest men around and if you can't find any there is at least one(1) left which is me!!LOL
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): The fact that you're still with the cheater is a great example of why you keep ending up in this situation.You know he's cheating and you're still with him. That means, plain and simple, that right now you'd still rather be cheated upon than choose someone else less "desirable" or "familiar." You might be saying "I'm not gonna be with him for long!" or "I'm gonna get rid of him as soon as I find someone else better!" or "I don't even know why I'm still with him!" But the bottom line is still the same no matter how you try to rationalize/explain it. You still view being cheated upon as a less-objectionable situation than giving up whatever this guy does for you. You're still choosing to be cheated upon right now.Everyone has options. They may not always like the options open to them very much sometimes, but there are still options.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): My current boyfriend of four years is a you know what. I have just found out he has been married for over twenty years and has three children. He works in IT and lives in and around Leeds. I am trying to find other women who have dated this individual as I would like to take them with me to his wifes house as I have the address. Do you think this is a good idea or should I leave him to rot in his own............? He is still lying to me saying him and his wife have been seperated for ten years but live under the same roof.I think women should band together to shame these unscrupulous individuals. Please leave your email if this sounds similar to someoen you have dated and leave his initials. Thanks for listening to me.
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A
female
reader, carla3683  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 well i pritty nuch agree with you love i know how it feels to be with a liar, cheat and a player my last seven years relationship was with a guy who was all three of the above and so have the rest of them been it seem where just alike all i can say is dont open up your hart to men toon soon before you know what they are like then its not possible to get hurt as easy'ly it seems some girls have to learn the hard way but eventualy we will find the right man. good luck XXX p.s please dont stay with your current b/f if he as lied to you just for the sake of having a man your better than that and deserve better too xxxx
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Anybody who comes to a conclusion that there are no good men left is a moron. It is a ridiculous thing to say and is hopefully not meant to be taken seriously. There are plenty of good "people" all over the place. It's a matter of timing. If you are to take the advice there are none left though you're doomed. You'll spend the rest of your life with a sad look in your eyes and a stone for a heart. Do not believe there are no good guys out there.
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A
female
reader, willow73 +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Well i not sure there are any honest guys out there. I've had bf's which were also liars and cheats and i've come to the same conclusion that there are no good men left. Was in a relationship for 2 yrs before i found out what a liar i was with, before that he was mr perfect in every way. For a change i would like someone who can show me the same love/affection and respect that i would have for them.Would be nice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): My friend only goes out with complete jerks. Her last b.f. was a pathological liar and she has never been with a nice guy. There were a couple nice guys who liked her and she had zero interest in them. So are you sure it's not you? Maybe you've met some nice guys but you weren't into them? Can you read people pretty well? If you could, it would seem that you wouldn't be dating these type of men. I won't date a guy who seems like a liar, etc..but I can read people well. You'll find a nice guy if that is what you really truely want.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (28 August 2007):
You're just having bad luck and need some encouragement. Nobody is perfect but there are lots of good guys around. I'm one....but I'm taken. Be positive and take your time. Stay out of bed and if the guy hangs around, he's better than most. Look at his past and his present. Maybe part of the issue is you. What are you demanding or expecting?
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (28 August 2007):
 Of course there are good guys out there, its just a matter of finding them. Just because you have had a run of bad luck with guy's, don't let this put you off from believing there are good guy's out there.
I have got the same issue with women, my last two relationships did not work out, and not for the want of trying. But i remain optimistic that there are good girls out there.
Don't give up, i promise you will eventually find a good guy that treats you well, keep looking and you will probably find him when you least expect it.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): There are good ones out there I promise you, maybe it's you attracting all the bad ones? don't go out with guys who seem like that. It's simple really, just be more careful and dump guys who seem like the cheater, liars. You'll meet good guys if you stop looking in the wrong places which you obviously are! or you just take anyone who offers
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Of course there are honest men out there. The problem is you. You don't pay attention or either just ignore the signs of a liar/cheater, or maybe you are just really naive. In other words guys who are cheaters and liars have certain characteristics in their personality that are totally obvious when you intially start dating. That is why when you date, there is that period of a few weeks where you are both just feeling each other out before you become official. That is when you get to see through him and decide whether he is going to give you what you want or not. And you decide whether to move forward or back off completley (guys are famous for dumping girls in this intial stage, and that's why. They are just pickier and don't want to settle). Just be like a guy in that sense.But it sounds to me like no matter what signs a guy shows you in the beginning, you move forward no matter what. It sounds like you don't even care what signs he is giving off of the type of personality he has just as long as he shows interest in you, that's good enough for you. So, no offense but in a way that is kind of your own fault. SO next time, try to be a little more perceptive about who the guy really is before you get involved and be a little more picky and proud. Don't just jump into a relationship ONLY because a guy likes you. Be a little more picky.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): You are not the only one who has been through this but please don't give up. I had counselling to help me be more selective about my partners. I kept finding men who had many great qualities, but a fatal flaw which made them totally wrong for me. I realised that I ususally picked up on this right at the start when I met them but for some reason passed the warning signal off and did not trust my instinct. Example was Mr Player staring at a young girl from head to foot on our first date, so intently that even she noticed and blushed. I decided to ignore it as a one-off, saw him for ten months and although he was good fun in many ways discovered that his first wife left him because he slept with her sister and soon after marrying the second he was buying sex from prostitutes. Another was a man who was very intelligent and highly skilled but seemed down on his luck. He was a boozer and gambler.You need to take time to actually choose, with a clear idea of the qalities that you want and those that you do not. I found that looks slide down the scale after the "No hopers" got filtered out, I knew I wanted to my partner to be attractive. Mr Muscle not necessary etc.Choose, do not be chosen and to listen to your inner voice. I have a friend who is always ringing me up saying "When is my luck ever going to change?" Then she calls a few days later saying she has a new man in her life. I find it amazing that she can meet, decide and pronounce them so fast especially as her children have become very unsettled at the ever changing vista of her love life. She also always picks men that are very much less intelligent than her, they almost always end up resenting her and being unkind.Don't waste years more by thinking you are on a panic mission, the chancers will smell this about you and hone in. Give off a waft of selective and you will do better even if you need to accept and enjoy your own company for a while. I know a man in his 80's who met his new wife about 5 years ago. What he did was date 5 nights a week, he had his Monday girl, Tuesday girl, Wednesday girl etc. The favoured one mover up to Saturday night as a couple of months went on. He just dated, he did not closer than old-fashioned friendship until he had chosen which one. He was perfectly open to the ladies about what he was doing, which was simply getting to know more people and having a nice time. You have no idea how desireable this made him! If he could do it, why not you? Get shot of your liar, you know it is just wasting time and you do not need that kind of neagtive validation of who you are. Get out and promote your worth, don't settle for less than you are it will just spoil your good feelinga about yourself further. PS - I ended up back with my first love from 15 years old at the age of 43. It just goes to show I was right in the first place! Good luck!
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