A
female
age
30-35,
*hadow Rose
writes:Hi! It's me, an aunt that hasn't been on in quite some time! (Oops, sorry!)And now I have a problem...I've never been good at flirting. In fact, you could say I'm even pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. I don't normally flirt, because I don't know how.But every once in a while, I'll be blessed with the gift of flirt, and when I do use that moment's reprieve, usually obtained while texting him, he just.... Stops texting me.This has happened multiple lines, where I said something flirty, and he just stops replying altogether. I've even asked him about it after a while of no reply, and still no reply...I'm so confused, so if my fellow aunts could help me out here and make me understand, I'd be very grateful!
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female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (11 November 2012):
Shadow Rose is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sorry about that. I forgot.
Well, I only recently started getting enough confidence to flirt a few months ago...
I'll just talk to him about it next time I see him...
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 November 2012):
 That tidbit of information does make a big difference. Has your boyfriend always been this way or is this a recent thing? Does he withdraw from any flirting or just certain kinds of flirting (more racy, for example or talk of specific acts)?
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A
female
reader, Ganna +, writes (10 November 2012):
 He maybe one of those males that like to take the main role in the relationship, and do the wooing.
He may have misunderstood your flirty, or does not expect it from you.
You can also consider this as an alarm of lack of interest. When this occurs id suggest to spice up the relationship you have. Trying new things, like going to bowling together, or doing some sport can help to create a stronger bond.
Of course all of these advices are based on guessed situations. Since I do not know how he acts with you or what kind of partner he is, it is difficult to determine exactly what he may mean. So look at the clues and determine from situation.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2012):
 Ah well, yes that's sort of a relevant information that you omitted, it did really sound as if you were chasing after someone not too well disposed toward you, lol.
Then , I guess it's more my second guess- he is used to be the proactive one ,the chaser, maybe now when you send flirty or risque' texts it feels weird. Or, simply, maybe he's not a flirt - loving type and does not see the point of flirting after two years of a steady , secure relationship. You can ask him why, anyway- after two years together, and if the r/ship is overall good, I am sure that it does not mean anything that you should worry about.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2012): Probably best to ask him Shadow Rose. I have a feeling it could be one of many things, you're so useless at this whole flirting thing you make a mess of it and he cringes, or it could just be that after 2 years and you not really being the flirty type that you flirting is just weird.
Who knows maybe the flirt was enough and a good conversation ender. I mean if you're not asking a question he doesn't have to really respond.
Don't take this the wrong way Shadow Rose but when flirting doesn't come naturally to a girl her attempts can be kind of embarrassing. I've had some really lame flirts in the past and I just cringed.
Then again is he any good at flirting, is flirting even his thing? Because if not that would explain it too.
Time for a light hearted chat about it.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (10 November 2012):
Shadow Rose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I should mention that this is my boyfriend if two years.
Don't know why I didn't add that, but hopefully this bit of information can make this make a little more sense.
Since I'm not like, cornering some guy I like or anything. (When we first met, I was the shy one, he asked me out and all that jazz, but I'm not as shy anymore and I feel confident enough to try flirting with him)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 November 2012):
Well, if any time you start flirting he freezes on his tracks and stops answering you... it sounds logic that he does not want to be flirted with. At least, by you.
Either that, or - less likely, IMO - he is an old fashioned type who feels uncomfortable with proactive girls taking the lead in courting.
Either way, if your advances are not well received, and that, repeatedly... alas the only sensible solution is stopping making advances.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (10 November 2012):
Welcome back, Shadow Rose. I'm not very good at flirting either. Probably because I've never really done much of it. But I'll share my thoughts anyway and hopefully it will help.
It seems pretty straight forward to me. He stops responding because he is ill at ease with your flirting and doesn't know what to say. The most likely reason is he is not interested in anything more than friendship, and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I do think it a mistake on your part to not only corner him with questions about it, but to continue flirting and continue asking him hy he doesn't respond. Not a good idea to force the issue. Take the hint and back off gracefully. Don't put him in the uncomfortable position of having to avoid or decline your advances.
Not the answer you were hoping for, I'm sure, but it's how I see the situation and better to hear it from us than from him.
If he is interested in you, then let him do the chasing.
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