A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So we've had the conversation a long time ago, we've been dating for 10 months. I am saving myself until marriage, but he has has two past girlfriends of which have lost their virginity to him. It was really hard in the beginning for me to accept that, but I liked him a lot and he made the sacrifice to respect my decision and hasnt pressured me to have sex at all. I thought I was over it, but today he told me went to go study with a good friend and during the study, his friend asked him "are you virgin bro?" and he said they both laughed about it and had guy. And joked about that stuff, but to me since I am a virgin (and i don't really like to be reminded that hes had sex with two other girls) its a really sensitive subject, and something really important to me. I cant normally joke about stuff like that because I havent had the experience. I just thought it wasnt very nice of him. I wish he hadnt told me what his guy talk was like, because my mind is back to the topic and at the same time I just feel really bad for even making this a big deal. I dont know what to do. My mood altered during the conversation and he was asking me why and I tried not to tell him, but he kept asking and I told him that his conversation with his friend bothered him, and I try not to think about it. He got mad and told me he'd talk to me later. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (10 November 2012):
I don't know any practical advice to give you. This seems to be a topic that will cause problems as long as you're in a relationship with this guy - potentially, the rest of your life. Don't feel bad about "making this a big deal" - it's something that IS significant to you. Your attitudes and expectations about sexual exclusivity will be significant even after you are married.
Obviously, your sexuality is more significant and valuable to you than his was to him. Does he still think that way, or has he changed? How can you tell?
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