A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so I have a question about the sexuality of the guy that I am seeing.The guy that i am currently seeing is 20 and I am 19. Him and I have not been seeing each other very long, just about a month, but for the past two weekends we have been trying to have sex (the reason that that is not during the week is because he is away at college). However every time we go to have sex, he goes completely soft. I thought the first time that he was just nervous because he is a virgin and the first time brings up a lot of insecurity and worry for people, which I totally understand. But when I was talking to my friends about it they said that they think that he could be gay and I would like to know the opinion of the Aunt Agonies. To give you a few more details about the situation we have not been having issues with this except for when we are about to have sex. He has been doing just fine with everything up until this point and he has been getting off when I am grinding on him skin on skin with genital to genital contact. Everything that he has done with me thus far has been his first time, and that makes me curious because he is a 20 year old male. He said that he had been kissed before but only 2 or 3 times. Dating someone like him is new to me because I usually date people that are very confident and experienced. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind that he is new to all of this and truth be told I like him a lot more than anyone that I have dated in probably the past year and a half. I feel terrible about even questioning this because he does seem like a very sweet guy but some of what other people said got in my head. So to clarify, the question that I am asking all of you is, do you think that my boyfriend could be gay or am I just overreacting? I would really appreciate your answers.THANK YOU! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Definrtly NOT gay or you wouldn't get far enough along to experience the issue. Sounds like a simple case of prematurejaculation. Lots of men find themseves in this situation. I's easy to fix. Iyou reup on it, you wll find a lot of theropisttell you to have him mastbate to the brink of climax then stop. Do this over and over for a few weeks unl his control issues are in hand (pardon the lame obvious pun)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank everyone for throwing in their opinions, you all have helped put my mind at ease with respect to my question so I appreciate you taking the time to answer it.In response to maureen1979 i would just like to say that i completely agree with you that it is normal for someone his age to be a virgin and i do not think that it is a bad thing. I only meant that his having absolutely no experience with women was something that i found to be unusual, but not in a negative way, just in a different one. His reasons are not religious although you may be right about other people that he took interest in having a connection to that. I personally believe him to be just shy and polite as you did say. When i said that i had discussed the situation with a few of my friends, I perhaps should have used the term "confided in" as that is perhaps more understandable. I did not share this with others to hurt him in any way, my friends have not even met him. I told them simply because it was something that I was confused about and what are friends for if not to learn from and grow with? Thank you for your response as you seemed to research and put thought into it and you did help me.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 April 2014):
Probably just nervous. Using condoms may make it worse because they can desensitized him, especially if he's used to his hand's firm grip.
That doesn't mean forget about condoms, it means be patient.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2014): Habitual porn users have erectile problems. Alot of young people don't realise prolonged use of porn affects performance in real life.
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