A
female
age
51-59,
*edinSD
writes:Okay, I have a question. Say a woman is married and she has a good male friend (we'll call him Mr. X) that is also friends with her husband. Mr. X and the woman are pretty good friends, closer friends than he is with her husband, but she and Mr. X have never crossed any lines. Now it seems like the woman is interested in Mr. X as more than friends. She's been emailing him and texting him and they've been spending more time together. My question is if Mr. X is emailing and texting her back and he knows that she's married does that mean that he is interested in her as more than a friend? I'm sure Mr. X knows that it's wrong to be emailing and texting a married woman, but is it okay if they're just friends? Do you think Mr. X wants more from the woman? Should her husband be worried?
View related questions:
married woman, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Well,
He's holding the line for now but I agree that it is only a matter of time or alcohol before the line is crossed by one or the other of you. If you have those feelings for him and you are married then I think this is an inappropriate friendship. Focus the attention and stimulation on your marriage.
Be good.
A
female
reader, RedinSD +, writes (30 July 2009):
RedinSD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNothing sexual in our texts. We joke around and he is strictly friendly with me. The thing I think is weird is that he has no problem hanging out with me alone and texting and emailing me even though I'm married. I feel like he might have feelings for me, but won't act on them out of respect for me and my husband. He's not an idiot though. I'm sure he knows that I would want more if I were not married. I'm such a horrible person.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Not sure what to think... I had a "friend" who I would text back and forth with as well, but it was only a matter of time before he tried something more and I too am married. What kind of texts are exchanged? I only ask because I know between me and this guy there was never anything sexual exchanged on texts so I was pretty surprised when we were alone and he made the move. I too thought we were "just friends"
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Hi, Dearkelja! Long time no see. I will see what I can do about this. I'll ask Andrew.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): i agree lots of missing bits here. but i believe if this friendship intrudes into a marriage then warning bells. i think *edinSD you know that you are crossing the boundaries of mere friendship here. just be honest. stop fishing and start doing some straight talking. i think you know the inappropraiteness of this friendship.
i once replied to someone advising them to stop being "an emotional whore". (this concept was used by a sextologist at a womans day conference)(the post i think was about a married womans attachment to another man). when we become emotional whores we cross the line of friendship. in your case i think you have been becoming to attached to your husbands friend and you need to stop before you destroy your home. and believe me you will. so stop and stop this game you and your husbands friend are playing. darling, you play with fire , you are going to be burned big time.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (28 July 2009):
I agree with Daniel (hi Daniel!) I do believe that men and women can be friends, even when married to someone else. Friends do text and get together. I think we are missing information. You say the woman wants more, you are a woman so is this information you know for a fact? If you are the married woman's friend and she told you this and now you see the two of them together more then perhaps it is leading somewhere. I'd hate to say the Mr should be worried because that will set alarms off for every female/male friendship and that's just not fair because there are plenty of purely platonic relationships out here. Only Mr. x will know what he wants.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 July 2009):
It is not wrong to e-mail and text a married woman if you are not romantically interested in her and you see her as a good friend who also happens to be the wife of a good friend.
What I am saying is, the assumption that the man texts the woman because he is romantically interested in her is not a warranted one. Maybe he is being friendly. This would be all the more true if Mr. X had someone, information which is missing here.
This post sounds like the husband has started having second thoughts, and the wife wants the husband not to worry. That is to say, it sounds like both the married woman and Mr. X are interested in each other but would hate it if the husband found out.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Lots of missing info here. Men and women can definitely be platonic friends but if one or the other is having trouble with their needs( emotinal or physical) being met at home they might try to satisfy those with the friend.
...............................
|
