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What would you do with a partner like mine?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2019) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2019)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years and I honestly don’t know how I have put up with it for so long he puts everyone before me if someone rings him to do summat such as painting or anything like that he’s there I ask him he does it months later the last 2 weeks I have got home from work to find his mate at ours he doesn’t leave until 1am I am home at 8.40 from work I walk in and he goes out with his mate it’s to the point I hardly see him yet e expects me to cook and clean for him when he does nothing to help me I am annoyed about his mate being round every night because his mate takes drugs I don’t like him in the house last night I got home from work to find my partner phoning a ambulance and his mate passed out of the sofa I feel like my partner is just taking the piss out of me am I right to be annoyed and what would people do with a partner like this thank you

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A female reader, ConfusedCarrie84 United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2019):

You are right. He is takign the piss out of you and you are allowing him to. Kick his deadbeat ass to the curb. He sounds as if he is using you in all honesty. For a roof over his head and a warm body to lay next to. You deserve better.

Wish him well, change the locks and move on while you can.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2019):

If you are not officially married and if you don't have kids between you to worry about then the solution is very easy . Break up with him and never look back. You only live once so why live it misrably?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 May 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony aunt"I feel like my partner is just taking the piss out of me"

You feel that for good reason. He is acting like a single man, doing his own thing but expecting you to provide the home comforts. I am sure you have already worked out you would be better on your own. You know you deserve better.

Question is: why are you still with him? Tell him to move in with his mate.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2019):

N91 agony auntLeave? Very simple.

Surely you want better for yourself. You’ve had 5 years of this, how many more?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (16 May 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt I agree with Honeypie. Lately ther's been a score of posts about people who live with a partner but act totally single, - different hours, no communication, no companionship, no help around the house. Sime, even no sex. One wonders, well, why didn't STAY single then ? Would not that have been simpler and clearer and less conducive to fights and bitterness ?... Then, elementary Watson: because living alone is too costly, - and if you need to get a roommate to help with rent and bills, which better choice of one who

( in general ) also does the cleaning and cooking and errands (child rearing too when the are kids ) and is also readily available for sex , just in case ?.

As a matter of fact, if you had a roommate, probably she / he would be more respectful and you'd decide together who can visit, when, for how long etc. !

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 May 2019):

Honeypie agony auntWhat would I do?

End it. What is there to build ANY kind of future on?

You are the live in maid. You probably help with the bills, which is convenient for him. But you aren't a priority.

You are in your 30's shouldn't your relationship have progressed further than this?

And what is it EXACTLY that makes you stay with him? (and no, saying I LOOOOVE him isn't an answer).

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