A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:My life is a Mess. It started when I lived with my in laws. We had an unplanned pregnancy and my daughter is now 7. I didn’t know how controlling my in laws were going to get. My husband and I lived with them. They got controlling. My sister in law moved back in . She did nothing but threaten me every day. They pushed us out and we had an. Agreement to increase the days we had with her. They went back on their word. They completely took over. My husband was working long hours and wouldn’t communicate. After about 9 months my husband had money problems. I didn’t know where to go to for help. My parents got 2 inheritances and went overseas. My father agreed to have meetings with my in laws, to prevent this becoming a shit show. He never did., he also promised to sell his vintage car if we needed help. He gaslighted us later and called us liars. My in laws went for custody and won. Please help. The whole custody thing was traumatic for me. What to do?
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liar, money, sister in law Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Hector123  +, writes (19 June 2021):
That doesn't sound great.
I feel like you need to get your finances sorted and have your own place. It seems like nobody is on very good terms with anyone else so I doubt staying where you are will make things any easier. Good luck...
A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (11 June 2021):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou’ve got it wrong. It’s my husband that I agree with, not my in laws.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (11 June 2021):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHonestly hard to understand why the court completely screwed is over. There are no drugs or alcohol involved.,
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 June 2021):
 Get yourselves sorted. The sooner the better. That means GET jobs - find a place to live THEN contact a lawyer and go from there.
They can be crappy people but they have the law on their side right now. And neither of you have a job or a place to live... having a kid wasn't smart. Hopefully, they are looking out for the kid more than just using the kid as a pawn.
Don't engage in arguments with them,
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (9 June 2021):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe might be in our thirties but my husband is autistic and has extremely bad communication. It’s just endless arguing.
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A
female
reader, meccamega +, writes (8 June 2021):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey did get custody because they’re controlling and because of our money problems. It has been endless arguing For years. We constantly argue about each other parents and what led up to this mess.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 June 2021):
As for your father- well know you know you can not rely on him, so stop believing anything he promises you.
You are in your 30's - you are DEFINITELY old enough to take care of yourselves.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 June 2021):
Did your in-laws get custody because you and your husband can't take care of yourselves and a kid (financially)?
If so, you know what you need to do. YOU both need to find work and PROVE to the courts that you CAN take care of your child, financially and otherwise.
TALK to your lawyer (whoever represented you when your in-laws to you to court).
The first thing you need to do is to contact a lawyer, then FOLLOW whatever steps you have to take to get her back.
I would presume you two getting jobs and financial stability would be #1, then having a place of your own with room for kiddo is #2 and perhaps some mandatory parenting classes #3.
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