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Whats in a name? a title?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2021) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2021)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband has a younger brother, Justin, that is an amazing uncle with his nieces and nephew.

The problem is my brother, Phil and his wife have a son and Justin doesn't want my nephew (Phil's son) to call him "Uncle Justin". Justin has stated "Why would I want who I am not related too to call me Uncle Justin? He should be calling me "Mr. Justin" or "Mr. (his last name).".

Phil view is that we been acting like a family for 20 years so even though we are not related by blood, Justin should consider his son as one of his nephews.

In this situation, who is right? Should Justin allow Phil's son to call him "Uncle Justin"? Should Justin include Phil's son in his plans when he does stuff with his nieces and nephew?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2021):

Justin should come and live in Turkey for some time where èvery old man is called uncle by everybody. I am 77 yrs old and practically everyone out of my immediate family call me uncle. The only one person who calls me by my name is my wife.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 June 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI think if Justin doesn't want to be called Uncle by kids that he isn't related to by blood that IS his choice, even if it is a SHITTY ASS choice.

But for kids to call him Mr. Justin? Yeah nah that is bullshit. Justin would suffice.

Uncle is an honorary title for many. Justin doesn't DESERVE that honor.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2021):

Hi

It's a personal choice obviously and some people are more formal than other's. I personally would feel it an honour if any child wanted to call me 'Aunt or Uncle'.

My partner has a large family with lots of youngsters, some related by marriage and some biological, some adopted and just about everyone of them, call him Uncle because they love him very much as he does them.

Like I say, it's a personal choice, but also a big rejection in many way's, especially if you are a close knit family anyway and always in contact.

Blood is not always thicker than water. I am called Noni' by my step daughters little adopted toddler, I am not blood none f us are but this little girl is loved so so much by the whole family and she has names for us all, just like the other biological children. I will always treasure that title until I am an old lady and would never ever reject a title given from a child or offered from an adult family member.

I tend to think that there could be some undertone here with yourself or your brother, that he (Justin) does not really want connecting with. Does he have some issue with your brother? or with you?

Having said this, Justim your husbands brother does not have to include your nephew in any plans, bit sad if all the kids hang out together. It's up to the individual but he is under no obligation whatso ever to include your brothers son.

I am guessing Justin is uncle to YOUR children therefore they are cousins with your brothers son. Justin may not be related but the children are!

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