A
male
age
30-35,
*urgerman22
writes:Okay, so me and my gilfriend have had are ups and downs and as of now, what should I do? I want her to marry me and she wants to marry me. But, there are many things wrong, for one her parents don't like me and mine don't like her but we are both 20 so what should we do to make it good between both of us and make our parents happy too? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Perhaps you should spend some time trying to find out why they are unhappy with you and in turn why your parents feel this way about your girl. If you get to the bottom of the problem it could help in figuring out a solution to the problem.
Remember that ultimantly the thing which matters most is HOW YOU TWO FEEL ABOUT ONE ANOTHER, however the parental discord can cause alot of stress for all of you. Both you and your girlfriend are going to have to be strong enough to bend to keep things from bringing down your relationship. It's hopefull that if they see how well you two are getting along and doing otherwise as it could sway their thinking.
I think it might call for a sit down talk with both sets of parents to give them your thoughts about their actions. Let them know that you do want their blessings and even though you do respect their opinions it's not fair to place those stumbling blocks in your path. You are adults and intitled to choose whom you love and marry.
Show them the utmost respect as you may not actually know the entire reasoning of their dislikes or objections about your proposed marriage. Allow them to vent if they need too. You can do this with each set seperate or together but I think it's important to be with your mate when it's being talked out. After all they are the ones being objected to.
Best Wishes and make sure that you both know what you are getting into and that you are mature and strong enough to deal with this situation. It may or may not ever get better or be resolved. Pray about it. When a man marries a wife she is his for the rest of his life! Although he isn't marrying the entire family, they are his too and everything will be affected by the relationship he has with his inlaws and in turn as she is with hers.
Do your best to work it out BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. GOD IS IN YOUR CORNER LET HIM DO HIS GOOD WORKS ACCORDING TO HIS WILl.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
male
reader, CrazyMind  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Understandably, you want both your parents to be happy with your relationship, but if you seriously want to marry eachother, then worrying about what parents think shouldn't be an issue.
Parents want the best for their children, but contrary to popular belief, they don't always know what is best. They may not want their daughter to marry you, but nevertheless they want her to be happy.
If you decide that you want to marry someone; it should be because they are the person that makes you happiest, and that you truly are in love with them.
If marrying you is what will make their daughter truly happy, then they should come round to the idea - and if they don't, it's their problem, not yours. You don't have to get on with your in-laws, as long as you get on with the person you decide to marry; that's what should count.
Talk to her parents, find out why they don't want you two to marry. And, ask what they think could make her happier. Be ready for some harsh words. But then, talk to your girlfriend. Ask her what makes her happy; and what makes her happiest over everything.
Now, I realise I'm starting to ramble, so I'll stop.
Just, remember to always be yourself - don't change yourself to fit in with anybody else's desires.
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A
male
reader, funnyintit  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 it surely must b the age thing... u mite love each other very much, but u should wait with regards marriage, both of u r young and the two of u can change very easily, with regards to your feelings... i'm not doubting ye wanna marry each other but just leave it for a while...even say a date in a few years time if u must.... ur parents only want to see the two of u happy! stay positive!
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (24 March 2009):
 why are your parents not happy? maybe wait a while and they will come round, they probably think that you are too young. wait a few years and see how you feel.x
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