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What does it mean when a girl says you're cute?

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Question - (16 April 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2010)
A male United States age 22-25, *asoCaptain writes:

What does it honestly mean?

Sometimes people tell me that a girl would say a guy is cute when she likes, or is interested in him.

Most times though, people tell me that girls say that when she's not interested, doesn't like him at all but doesn't want to hurt his feelings, or that he's "just a friend."

A LOT of girls tell me that I'm cute. Either talking about my looks - "You look so cute I just wanna hug you forever," or my personality "Aww, that's cute of you"

Am I supposed to consider it as a good thing or a bad thing?

Is there a big difference in what a girl thinks of you, personally, if she says a guy is cute rather than hot, or sexy?

Is it bad to be known as a "cute" guy? I can't change my looks much, but I can change my personality.

Well I guess I -try- to be a nice person, but I'm not exactly prince charming in that regard. I can be nasty sometimes, but not to the extent of being an absolute asshole. I'm not nasty without a reason.

In that regard...is a jerk/"asshole" guy really more attractive to girls than a regular/"cute" guy? I hear that stereotype so much and I'm starting to think it's true.

Am I supposed to change my behavior to get a girl now?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010):

In most cases and the ways she said it means you are good looking but not "hott!!"

Whether you are boyfriend matertial and friend material is dependent on the way YOU ACT after that, meaning it can go both ways. Basically it means "man-uppp"

Now the best way to deal with this is to be "cheeky...." ie joke about it, joke how she can never get with you, if she says it in a condescending way say it back to her in a condescending way.

If you are in a one on one, you dont know her and she says it, it normally means kiss me.. same goes "man up!!" turn it more sexual....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010):

got the same issue mate. Girl i like tells me im cute but i dont know what that means. Just be ourselves i'd say. Don't really want to be with someone who would rather be with an asshole. Be with someone who likes you as you are.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010):

No you CANNOT change your personality! You are who you are! it depends on how she says cute. The "awww, he's so cute and adorable" thing is more like they think you are a sweet pal. The "oh, he's really cute" thing means they find you attractive. But girls put out more signs than that when they like a guy, so pick up on body languge and eye contact. Girls are confusing because we never just come out and say something. I know, I do it too! But no matter how she says cute, it's a compliment. Enjoy the attention!

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (16 April 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHey Captain,

It is difficult at your age not to be taken seriously by women. I'm thinking that while you have friend who just happen to be girls, you don't have girlfriends. That can be painful.

To answer your question, When a girl says you are "cute" in the ways you have mentioned, that means she appreciates you, but is not excited by you. To use the rather rude term of the day she doesn't consider you "relationship material". This is not good.

Now having said that, long term it is better to be nice than exciting. The question is can you be exciting without being an "asshole"? I believe you can, but you have to be pretty careful about how you do it. The trick is to look powerful, with out being rude or nasty. Take a look at Frank Kermit's writing for specific advice.

http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit

Also Olivia Goldsmiths excellent fiction book "Bad Boy"

http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Boy-Olivia-Goldsmith/dp/0451204956

but, don't let the girls see you reading it.

Remember the payoff is long term. They may date the bad boys but they marry the nice guys. Right now you just need to get their attention, then you can start to help them grow into a more mature relationship. Relationships are all about long term commitment, some times it takes some of that time to get them started.

BTW Being hugged forever is a good thing. And, Prince Faithful beats Prince Charming every time. (get it Faithful is Strong, Charming is cute)

FA

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A female reader, terrifenby United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

terrifenby agony auntCUTE.. its a good one! I mean yeah i agree with caring guy, you have to get to know this girl to know what she means! The amount of times i say a guy is cute and each time i say it, it can mean some thing totally different! Dont change your personality.. people like you some maybe as a friend some as more than that! You are you and people like you the way you are! Changing your behaviour to what been an asshole/jerk not a good move... There is some one out there for you and the chanced are you are staring them right in the face! Hope i have helped hunni! :)

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A female reader, cnith United States +, writes (16 April 2010):

cnith agony auntwell, when we're young we're stupid. I'll just be blunt and say it. We like the bad boy types for idiotic reasons. Guys like yourself are not 'good' enough even though you are.

When we turn into women we kick ourselves in the ass for wanting bad boys. So hang in there and don't change. :)

That being said, it depends on how the girl says you're cute.

Me, if I say you're cute, I mean it. It could be your looks or your personality. Doesn't mean I want to bang you. I'm a little more blunt (can you tell?) than other girls...

So for them watch the context in which it was said. Awww, you're so cute! Could mean you're funny. Or I'm being nice to you but no, you're not bf material. You're so cute I want to hug you forever seems like the same type of line. However, I want to snuggle with you is a little more personal.

if she says, wow, you're cute! chances are it means you're hot but she doesnt want to blow up your ego.

Best way to find out if she likes you is to ask. Imagine that... asking outright. If she says no way too quickly it means you're embarrassing her but she DOES like you. Try to ask her out again later once her blushing is done. :)

If she sits and ponders for a bit, chances are she's trying to find out how to say no and be nice about it.

If I were you, I wouldn't fret too much. You never know who's going to find you attractive and who isn't. What I DO know, is that personality is always a winner. Don't change it. :)

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom + , writes (16 April 2010):

I've been called cute by my girlfriend, so it's not that she's not interested. Perhaps there is just something about you that makes her feel good. Cute works for some women, for others it's a friendly thing. I think it's a matter of getting to know the girl to know what else she thinks, apart from just cute. Maybe she does think you're sexy but can't say it. Maybe you're just a friend. You can't judge her on what she feels just by one word.

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