A
male
age
36-40,
*outhpaw542
writes:A little over a month ago, a recent friend of mine began coming on to me and I accepted her advances. By coming on, I mean we started making out at a couple of parties and started flirting heavily through texting. After a few days, we defined our relationship as wanting to date each other. At that time, she told me she had some loose ends to tie up before we started getting serious. I have learned by this she meant that she had a previous relationship that was in the process of failing. She met with the other guy and officially end things. Their relationship had lasted a few months and was initially serious, but had become on/off more recently. The reason for the recent off/on status was the other guy is a new dad (before they started dating), a lot older (18 yrs older), and at the time still living with the baby's mother.She was concerned that things might get a little ugly with the other guy after their break up and was afraid to get me involved, but we continued to see each other. After about a week, she ask me for a break to deal with the other guy and his antics (calling her frequently, etc). This break lasted 2 days before we were back. We had 2 more incredibly perfect weeks together before she asked for another break. This break was permanent as she took the other guy back after his pleading, calling, and leaving flowers and notes at her home. I know that she struggled with the other guy bothering her because I was present for some of their heated phone calls, but she said that he had made some changes in his life (moved out) and didn't do anything to deserve not being with her. Her statement to me was that she had to see their relationship to its end. Just to be clear, I know for a fact, she did NOT see him while we were together and she intended to break things off with him.While I was upset about the break up, I can deal with getting dumped. However, she still tells me that 'she misses my company', 'loves spending time with me', and that 'I fill a void even the other guy doesn't'. These statements are really playing with my emotions. I would love to get back with her, but I don't know if I should or how to do it. Reason being, I have never felt this way about a woman before; we complete each other so well. I have made an effort to be her friend despite breaking up with her, but I cannot do that easily when I still have strong feelings for her and she tells me things like this. I cannot stop thinking about her (she says the same). I want to believe that she is being honest with me and that if there was no other guy, I'd be her man.So basically, what do you do with a woman who still has feelings for you, but dumped you for another man and who continually flirts with you as if she didn't have another man? Please Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 I think you're not asking the right question. If I were you, I would ask myself "Do I want to be with a woman who is seeing someone else and asks me for "breaks" to go back to him?"
The woman you describe is playing both of you. The older mine you define as bad, and you. She must be something because she can have you two where she wants you two.
I say, ask her for a break that will last forever.
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