A
female
age
51-59,
*heesehead
writes: I suspect that my boyfriend is secretly taking heroin. He has done it before and I said if he took it again I would have to finish the relationship. He agreed and stopped but I fear it is happening again. I have asked him directly and he said No! there are a few niggling signs but no real proof. Please help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cheesehead +, writes (10 November 2008):
cheesehead is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the responses! I went to his house tonight, and as I came through the door there was a fumbling with something he scooted under the coffee table (this has happened several times) and he and his friends carried on as if nothing had happened. When his friends left, I looked under the table to find square of foil covered with tracks of brown and a lump of heroin on it, plus a tooter. Calmly I asked if it was his and said that if it was, I would not lose the head - he said it was his pals'. He said that they hide it from me as he knows how I feel about it. I said the cloak and dagger stuff makes me fear the worst. I am not a baby and would not care if I saw it, as long he was just letting his pals do and not him. So I said I was relieved and trusted he had not partaken. When I see his pals I will ask them not to act suspiciously in front of me and clarify that my boy had resisted. They could lie for him I suppose, they have done before.....but this time they might not. Am I being a namby pamby?
A
male
reader, Adey +, writes (10 November 2008):
This seems to be on your terms not his. Giving up anything addictive needs to come from them. I would change tact and see what help he needs to kick the habbit if he has lapsed. If he abuses your help and really doesn't want to give it up then you are better leaving him to work out his own path. Be strong, be clear and aim for the end goal = a clean boyfriend. Kicking him out now is a short-term battle that is about your pride and needs - that itself is not a good sign of a healthy relationship.
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