A
male
age
51-59,
*avid70
writes:Hi Everyone, Me again - slowly eating myself up from the inside out. I desperately want to save my marriage and two little children. I have really been compacent and taken for granted what I had. I have not had emotional connection or empathy ... I thought my role as provider was to give all the physical things and forgot to work on the rest. There are so many instances I have let my wife down in that I understand her view. I do not want anyone else and know I can do a better job as a husband and friend, I want to prove it and she is detatched and angry. We separated (different rooms) but still live together - there are clam moments and angry moments from her where she tells me all I have done. It does feel one way but I am taking on board her hurt and feelings, I promise to love her and make a change ... unfortunately have said this before and not acted so the belief is not there. We have had some great moments and potentially a great future - I want to be part of it all. I have been a selfish ass but all admission - I have also done some good things - I am not a horrible person but could have done far far far better. Currently she is very angry and letting it all out verbally. We are planning a date tomorrow and some time to do things the next day. We talk about things in the future and the kids. Is she just hurting me on purpose or making a point? Does she really want to leave (I have pushed hard enough) - can I really resolve this and change. She wants me to be everything over the next 4 months but is clear to say it may not matter - does this mean my stress and anxiety will go that long? I have self preservation thoughts also but do not want to close down. Emotional / scared / repentant / ashamed / saddened / stupid / shattered If there was a clear glimmer I could cope but for now I am struggling. I love my family so so much Reply to this Question
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male
reader, David70 +, writes (21 April 2011):
David70 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you - its nice to get a response and get things out! I really appreciate it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Hang in there and show her how much you care. That's probably all she want's. Give it some time and prove you can do better. Sometimes we forget it the small things that matter.
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A
male
reader, Dathagen  +, writes (21 April 2011):
Sounds like you need some anti anxiety/anti depressents. Trust me they work. They will just take the edge off while you work your way through this.
Step 2 will be to be patient and provide her with the 5 A's.
Read the book "How to be an Adult in a Relationship" The 5 A's are explained.
No Matter what, you will be ok, she and the kids will be ok, everything will be ok.
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