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What are top tried and tested ways to tell our families that I'm pregnant?

Tagged as: Family, Health, Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. I have been dating my amazing boyfriend for 3 years. He lived 2+ hrs away but he moved in with him aunt and her husband when were positive we wanted to be together.

We have know each other since I was born since I'm 17 and he's 20. I'm graduated but we went out for a celebration picnic and things happened. Its been a few weeks and his family came up for a visit and we all noticed I was gaining weight, moody, and other signs. His sister is in nursing school and said it looked like pregnancy, and she was correct. So we are trying to find a way to tell out families. His sister and one of his brothers know about this and are going to help us talk to them. We are keeping the baby so we also need to find a place since we don't know how they will respond to the news. Any advice on how to break the big news? And yes we plan to get married, as once I turn 18, he doesn't want to till then. Please don't post rude comments, I'm scared to death and don't want stress to hurt the baby.

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A female reader, Cupid_or_Stupid United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2011):

Cupid_or_Stupid agony auntI'm not going to lie when I fell pregnant at 16 telling my parents was the hardest thing I did. My mum practically dragged it out of me I beat around the bush so much and she eventually guessed. That aside, she got upset at first, she was angry at me, called me a few names and blocked me out, but she soon calmed down (within hours) and she became very supportive. Unfortunately I miscarried at 8 weeks. But my point was - your parents love you no matter what, unconditionally, it's what they do. It may be tough at first but it will get better. You're lucky to have your boyfriend for support!

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A female reader, MamaBear United States +, writes (25 March 2011):

You will not have to tell anyone, once you start showing the pregnancy. It's really no one's business except you and the baby's father. However, you are very young yet and have so much life ahead of you and this baby's birth will add lots of unexpected and possible problems and expenses.

Example: Is the baby's father in college, have a good job, or what, good medical insurance for the birth, etc.? No mention I do not think you and the guy have any idea of the costs involved just in living on your own, w/o the added costs of diapers, formula, and all associated with a young child.

My suggestion is to tell both sets of parents and take it from there. You will definitely need some kind of help and input along the way. I hope you are still in school and planning to graduate. You will need this high school graduation to find a better job something than flipping burgers. I am sure you know that you will have to work to help support this baby. Good luck to you. You will need it because this road ahead of you will not be easy!

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A female reader, Ima FreAk!  United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2011):

Ima FreAk!  agony auntHiyaaaa!

And helllllllllllllo to the baby! Congrats by the way!

If your parent's truly love you than they would accept that your pregnant. It might take some time to sink in but they will realise that it's your decision and how mature you are kinda thing!

Ways you can tell your parents is either as a family meeting or if your worried about your mum/day tell one of your parent's first if you know that the other one is going to flip does that make sense? If it doesn't I'll give a quickie example:

Say scared of dad then tell mum first privately and then say you will tell your dad

Other ways could be taking them out for a picnic or somewhere that is nice a quiet with the whole family like your siblings and your boyfriend family too.

The quicker you do it the better it will be for you so make sure you say it quick! And you are independent! So you can do it!

Hope my advice helps!

All the best for you and good luck!

Lots of love,

Ima FreAk!

x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011):

Usually Occam's Razor applies here.

Just sit them down, both you and the guy, together, and out with it.

The simplest solution is often the best.

There is very little you can do. It will be a shock no matter how you try and butter them up.

But being straight with them shows respect and admiration for them and also shows that you have enough maturity to put aside your fears and do what must be done.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, sneha09 India +, writes (25 March 2011):

sneha09 agony auntI think you people should clear everything sitting together with one family at a time,mentioning about your future plans too.

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A female reader, kaykay1989 United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2011):

kaykay1989 agony auntThis is going to be very hard. At least you've both decided what your going to do about the baby thats one step covered as thats one of the questions they're definately going to want answered.

Probably best to make sure they're sat down and it's probably best that you both do it as a couple to show that your serious about this. Tell them it wasn't planned but it's happened now and your planning on keeping the baby.

Of course both sets of parents are going to have their concerns about whether this. Is this the right decision, about whether its to soon, how are you going to be able to cope physically as well as financially. So make sure you have thought of all these answers before hand.

It's isnt going to be easy for the first couple of months with the baby waking up every couple of hours for a feed. Babies are expensive. A baby is a big thing sometimes the relationship survives a child but equally it can put strain on a relationship so bare these things in mind and good luck.

PLease post a followup of how it went. You might be pleasently surprised about how it goes. xoxoxo

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