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We've been together 6 years and still his ex keeps contacting him. How can this woman be discouraged?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2015)
A female United States age 51-59, *weetpussy6969 writes:

Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years and his ex girlfriend won't leave him alone.

She keeps pushing him about wanting to know if he is still in love with her.

What can we do about her

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015):

hi again.

This doesn't make any sense....unless they have kids of course which as honeypie says it is more complicated.

you aren't saying there are children involved though, so I'm presuming there isn't.

In which case, HOW exactly is she contacting him? I think the aunties on here are struggling to see why this is so difficult and need you to shed light on how she is doing this, through what medium/how often etc etc because short of stalking to the point of requiring police involvement we can't see why your boyfriend hasn't put an end to this.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDo they have kids together or not?

If not? Why can't your BF, block/unfriend/whatever from his phone and social websites? Or get a new number? I doubt she KEEPS doing this if there is absolutely no reply from him. Or if she got blocked.

If they HAVE kids together it's not as simple as just blocking her. But again, HE can end a conversation if it's not about the kids/kids needs. If he keeps shutting her down, maybe she will take the hint.

Again HE needs to be the one to do all this. You can't fix it, only HE can. And only if HE chooses to do so.

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A female reader, sweetpussy6969 United States +, writes (12 August 2015):

sweetpussy6969 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My boyfriends ex girlfriend won't stop even after my boyfriend has told her that he doesn't want to be with her

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2015):

Hi. We only have the information you have given to go on here, unless there is more to this- such as him having children with her etc- I have to say it is likely everyone reading this will be thinking 'really?'.

How is she contacting him? Text?email?letter?person? Does he respond? How often is,she contacting?

How is he generally with u- does he enjoy making you jealous? I ask this because I truly cant see how he hasn't cut her ability to contact feels like he may be getting something out of this I think....

It isn't hard to block a number on a phone these days, block her from fb etc...there is something you aren't telling us or something he isn't telling you as to why he hasn't dealt with this as this doesn't add up to me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2015):

Come on now. He should have discouraged her from the start. My guess is definitely that he hasn't dealt with it. I was in a relationship where I was put on hold because he was too busy but when old women friends came calling, all the sudden he made the time right away to be with them because of course "he had known them for a such long time and felt obligated to exchange pleasantries." I sent him on his merry way. Don't get caught in the same trap.

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2015):

How does HE feel about his ex still contacting him? Sounds like she is still hung up on him. 6 years is a LONG time and I would have thought she'd have moved on.

Do they have kids together? If so then she'll be a part of his life forever. But that does'nt mean she should intrude on your r/ship. He needs to talk to her again. He really has to be firm with her. If she is being a real pain and actually making you uneasy then you may have to warn her that you'll have to get the police involved if she carries on like she is. This may scare her into stopping. But it isn't nice to have to go that far. But what else can you do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2015):

For us tp help you, we need to know what his response has been each time she asked over the last 6 years. Only then can we know what hasn't worked and what might work. Advising you without that info is shooting in the dark.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 July 2015):

Honeypie agony aunt"WE" can't do anything.

YOU can't do anything about it either, except tell him to DEAL with it once and for all.

If they do not have kids together, HE can block her number and cut the contact 100%.

If they DO have kids together HE needs to tell her her is NOT interested in her in any way shape or form romantically and that he is DATING someone else.

My guess is..... he isn't QUITE willing to let go of the contact. Why? No clue, you would have to ask him.

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