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We're from 2 different tribes!!!

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Question - (7 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2012)
A female Nigeria age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been attending this new church for almost a year and 3 months now with my younger sister and we are always together in church. After about 4 months of attending this church i started noticing this very cute guy, over time i developed a crush on him and wanted to catch his attention. One day i was sitting three rows behind him then he looked back n our eyes meet n he looked away. After that day i try to catch his eyes several times, so every sunday when i go to church i know where he sits regularly now so i'll sit adjacent to where he is and i'll catch him looking and soon as i look towards him he'll quickly look away. One day while i turned to glance at him i caught him looking and this time he smiled at me, i smiled back but i was too shy to look for long so i quickly looked away.

Several times he would walk into my space, look at me when he is talking to his friends, stay behind when i stay and he'll start leaving when i do the same, he slightly brushed his hands against mine when i walked past him one day. I later told my younger sis but she said i was imagining things and that guy wasnt looking at me, she later believed me one day when we were both taking a walk in the evening, she saw him first on a bike and he waved at us, she waved back and poked me to look at him and by the time i looked up to wave back he quickly looked away.

When i saw him that sunday he still stared and hurriedly looked away. After the service i just walked past him and his friends and went home but i knew he was staring at me. I got irritated cos i was just expecting him to walk up to me and say hi or something especially since this has been goin on for months now. I think bout him so much and i keep liking him even deeper. I also thought maybe bcos i'm never alone thats why he hasnt come to me.

After that day i made up my mind to talk to him first, but i'm so shy, very nervous and i want him to chase me, not vice versa but i still made up my mind and i go alone to church then i did not see him again for almost three months!

I dont know anything bout him, name, facebook id. Nothing. I would cry several times in my room and pray he'll come back, i hated myself for not letting him know how i feel(i'm surprised also at myself feeling this way bout someone i havent even spoken to).I ddnt not recognize his friend i would have asked. I then stylishly asked someone i saw with him but he didnt remember him.

I asked a worker in Church and he prayed that God should bring him back(funny isnt it?)but that Sun he was in Church! As soon as i entered and sat i saw him, after few minutes i caught him staring n he looked away. I was determined to talk to him after d service. So after the service i noticed him standing at the entrace with a guy he wasnt really talking to, so i fake some confidence and walked up to him, as soon as i got to him he turned towards me and i nervously said 'hi, i've not been seeing you around,(playin with my phone but i still managed to look him in the eye and smiled)and then he said 'yes i actually moved away from here to somewhere else(a near by environment) but he'll be comin around and then he asked for my name, i told him n asked for his too, he told me(it turned out we r from diff tribes, ddnt matter to me though), then i said u dont look your tribe and he laughed and said, what do you think i am, that...... tribe or.... tribe. I just smiled and then he asked a shocking question, he said something like have we meet before? or i think it's 'do we know each other?. I gave him a questioning look and nodded and he quickly said 'oh church here i guess. I just smiled. He kept quiet, and i just said 'ok bye and he said bye too.

Although he was looking at my fone, he ddnt not ask for my no, he ddnt offer to walk me or anything but i was glad and relieved i spoke to him and know his name n where he is, though d conversation seems awkward to me and i was disappointed he ddnt ask for my no and pretended he ddnt know me.

I just thought maybe he ddnt want to seem too obvious and he'll ask me for my no the next time we talk.

He ddnt see him last sun but he was arnd this sun,i noticed him smile as soon as i got in and later he still stared at me but looked away quickly when i looked back,he left before the service ends,so i ddnt get a chance to talk with him.

I started to think mayb he wasnt intrested in me,maybe he wants me to chase him, maybe, maybe......

It's been almost 10 months now that i'v known this guy,i really, really like him and want to be with but i'm confused about him, and want to know if i still have a chance to be with him, does he like me or he is not that into me?

View related questions: confidence, crush, facebook, shy

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (22 January 2012):

Abella agony auntthis is an article on Self Confience from Code Warrior is also worth reading. I think it is an excellent article from Dear Cupid:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html

regards

Abella

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (22 January 2012):

Abella agony auntHi

this may be a cultural thing, but you could tell me that better than I would know. Why, if he is from a different tribe, can he not be friends with you?

If he is around your age then there is no doubt he was interested in you. But could be already be married or betrothed to another?

Is that why he has held back?

From all you said he was interested in you and you in him

I am very sorry you did not get answers in March. But have things improved since then? Maybe your Church sometimes holds a social gathering after Church and if you see him then perhaps you could ask if he will attend the next one so that the two of you can talk?

Best wishes what ever happens and I do hope things go well for you

Abella

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