A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really not sure exactly when it began but some time around 7th grade I became aware that my mother had a drawer full of sex toys and that she masturbated basically every night. I was very conflicted about this as I was both filled with disgust (it was my mother) but also turned on (it was a woman masturbating) so periodically from 7th to maybe even 9th or 10th grade I would try and listen to her. I was never turned on by the thought of her in particular masturbating, or at least I don't think I was; it was more about hearing the moans and the various sounds that come with an orgasm.Eventually after nearly being caught a couple of times I just decided to never do it again and never have. I recognized throughout the whole thing that it was wrong to do but at the time I just didn't care. It has been years since I last did it and during that time I've had two healthy sexual relationships and have maintained a good loving relationship with my mother. I have no sexual fantasies about her or anything, nor do I have any desire to ever hear her in any sexual way again...The issue I have is the guilt. It's not like it controls my life or anything but whenever I think about it I just feel like such a freak for having done it. I've toyed with the idea of confessing it to her but I feel that's almost a cowardly thing to do; it might make me feel better (I'm sure she would forgive me) but it would undoubtedly make her feel horribly awkward and embarrassed, and that's not something I want to do. If anyone can think of anything that might help I'd appreciate hearing it...
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female
reader, brokenandconfused +, writes (20 December 2008):
 if your mother isn't having sex more than likely she is gonna want some kind of sexual attention. if there is no man available she pretty much will have to do things herself. when she starts to do this go into another part of the house so you won't be tempted to listen to her take care of her business.
A
female
reader, cdognon  +, writes (16 December 2008):
i cannot think of anything that may help your guilt but telling you this
when you were in 7th grade that was when you were first starting puberty and having feelings of attraction to the opposite sex, it is normal to be curious and the fact that you have established that you wernt really thinking of your mother shows your not a freak and your not doing anything wrong you were young and its normal to discover things. Just thinking of the opposite sex is normal to turn someone on so thinking of the opposite sex doing sexual acts is very normal to turn someone on, if you know yourself you didnt actually think of your mum nor you know your not attracted to your mum then dont worry because it was very normal for a male to think of females in such a way, also dont tell your mum that would be a bad idea as it would creat tension embarresment and awkward feelings, dont worry be happy you are normal
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): I believe it says a lot that you feel guilty! if you didn't, you may still be doing it now. But you realized it was wrong and stopped and now feel guilty. That says to me, your normal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, you guys and girls have made me feel SO much better. It might take a little time for the guilt to wear off completely but to actually be understood is very liberating. I guess I've always harbored the idea that nobody could possibly hear about my situation and think anything other than "what a weirdo". It's good to know that's not the case. Thanks everyone.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 I think I can think of something to help you, yes.
I understand you have trouble accepting that mom masturbates. We all have trouble accepting that our immediate family does this or that. However, we are all humans and we all have needs. This is not to be "forgiving", but to be "realistic".
I can even add that you were lucky, in a way. You had a mother who had normal sexual desires. I don't want to tell you what it would be like if your mother had been a repressed spirit instead.
I understand your guilt, too. But you were a young person who was discovering sex, and you had an experience most of us never have.
It is best if you don't mention anything. Just understand that no one meant any harm, no one was doing anything for the purpose of hurting or disturbing anyone, and go on with life as usual. See the sun? It's shining again, right? And the birds are singing, and cars keep polluting. Don't worry, be happy.
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A
female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (16 December 2008):
I would have to say.. Get over it. A female masturbating is a very arousing situation for anyone. You are perfectly normal and your right.. If you tell her, it would definatly make her uncomfortable. There is no reason to tell her. There should be no guilt.. You were young and horny.. Most boys that age are. Why dwell on it.
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