A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there im new on here, but i really need some help on this.I met my girlfriend a year ago and she had been with a heroin addict for many years. He would lie to her and take her money, take drugs, rehibilitate get clean then go through same loop again.I am going through a divorce, and we both have children.I absolutley adore her like I have never felt like this to anyone before and she says she loves me. We live together now and sometimes we talk of marriage etc and the rest of our lives as when we are good we are besotted with each other but...She cannot let go of her past, and her ex will not let go of her. He texts her all the time sending undying love and swearing that this time he will get clean for her and that she and him were meant to be together, no other. She met him for his birthday and it really tore me up, and she regularly goes out for dinner with his mum. She admits we would never have been together if she could get him clean because she loved him so much.It really tears me up inside that she still has feelings for another and that he rings and texts her all the time.I have tried many times to raise the fact that I am unhappy bout this but she always says she is doing nothing wrong, and each time we argue I feel I am driving her away.He now wants her to watch him play in his band, and I cant stand the thought that he will be singing to her.It is not that I don't trust her, it's that there is someone she loves who would do anything to get her back and she opens the door to him all the time.Am i being selfish?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Its just sad. She is honest that she loves her ex. Don't marry her. Someday she may get over him but don't count on it. I see this as ending with her hurting you very badly. It would be best if you were not married to her when that happens. Sorry.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 I agree with Annalisa's views.
You should not have let this thing fester until now. You should have told her to choose who she wants. This cannot go on forever.
She is having the best of both worlds. I would walk out of her life if I cannot have 100% of her. When it comes to love and happiness, 100% or nothing .
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