A
male
age
36-40,
*20bea
writes:A few months ago I started seeing a guy who I have since really fallen for and would go as far as saying Im in love with him. Right at the start when we started going out he did say to me that he wasnt really looking for anything serious at that time and I said thats cool because I was recently new to things (Not long out the closet) and he'd been in a long term relationship where he lived with a guy. Things seemed to be going great we spoke or textd every day and done all the usual date type things cinema, days out, lunch, nights out etc and of course we slept together on a regular basis. Just a few weeks ago though he said that he thought things were getting too heavy and that he wasnt really ready for it because he has a lot of things going on with his university work and things. Did we move too fast and is there any way of getting things back together in the future after he finishes university at the end of the month when he may have more time to be in a relationship??? It is also his birthday in a few weeks so do you think that i should maybe avoid contact and give him space and then spoil him with a great gift on his birthday? Any help would be great. Thanks
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 I'll give you my input assuming that gay and straight relationship work the same way...
If I'm dating and I go to fast meaning we shack more times than we go on dates most likely the relationship is physical and will burn out with the same speed it started with. If the relationship is based on sex and I was already classified as a booty call he would put a stop to my high dreams as to being a couple and not actually being in a relationship me.
Now it could be that you guys did date, did go out, and it was not all about sex, than the chemistry is not all there. In a relationship the relationship should forwards not backwards, and if he was totaling into you he would count the hours away from you and would really really want to see you. If this guy wants his space and is politely telling you he needs time for his studies might be a sign of trying to push you away without hurting your feelings.
Don't rush into this relationship and play it by ear, If he finds thousands of excuses to not see you than face reality he is not into you, and you are going to have to move on.
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