A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It's been a year since I split from my ex partner. He played mind games and made me feel I was going mad,because he wanted a relationship with someone he works with. Anyway a few months ago I joined a dating site and have had a few meets. some were ok , some not, hit it off with a couple, but then they dumped me too - so my confidence takes more knocking.Anyway, I met a man last night and we really hit it off. He asked to see me again next weekend.But already I am insecure, because,1. he texted me to say he got home - but didn't mention the date2. i said i enjoyed the date very much - no acknowledgemnt that he did.3. i said i thought he was sexy - nothing about what he thought of me...then i logged on the net this morning hoping he would have emailed on how he thought it had gone - but nothing (although he had logged onto his dating site)He was complimentary on the date - there was no sex, but we kissed and cuddled and I enjoyed that as it has been a while since I had any physical contact and i fancied him..Now what?I want to write to him, to say how much i enjoyed last night, but daren't incase he thinks I am pushy or needy.I really liked this man but I did read somewhere, if they are too good to be true, they usually areand I keep thinking, why would he want to see me again?I get lots of compliments when I am out socialising and I am told I am easy to approach and friendly. But......my head is telling me he is player as he was sooo confident and I so don't want to be hurt again, but I don't want to miss out on someone because I have been so hurt. I am putting myself out there, so know it will happen but how do i protect myself emotionally?
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male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 Hi,
From what I can read, it seems that you are anticipating things that in your mind "should" happen. You dated, then you expected a certain response but were disappointed as it wasn't the response you were hoping for. You are obviously still carrying your hurt from your previous EX and this is causing insecurity now. Maybe you could meet a few guys and just consider them as potential friends. Get to know them a little, don't worry about sex or physical as that will come. But for now, I'd suggest you just simply go slowly, meet, have coffee, cinema, whatever, thank them for the evening and then see if they get back to you. If a guy is interested, he will get in touch....trust me. I really hope things go well for you and you can heal from your previous disappointment. Don't worry too much about guys seeing you once and then dumping you, a lot of people simply use dating sites as ego boosts and just see how many people out there fancy them. It makes them feel good. You are genuine and shouldn't need ego boosts like that. best wishes, G xx
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