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We broke up. I know I still care for him. should I talk to him about my feelings?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I was in a long term relationship with this guy for almost two years and we just kept bickering, small petty arguments and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself.

It turned out he was messaging one of my friends and it turned out she wasn't very nice about me or our relationship and this lead us to break up finally.

Since the break up we have been up and down as we have both caught feelings and then argued and both him and I have been through some personal stuff which has not been great for either of us and therefore have gone to each other as someone to talk to.

We did not speak for a while due to something, that I am unable to put on the website otherwise my question will be blocked, which happened at a friends party and again sorted it when we decided to meet to talk things through.

I know I still care for him and will always be there for him but I don't know if I still have feelings for him or if I'm just confused, and I don't know whether to talk to him about it as it may just make it uncomfortable when we have to see each- other (we work in offices next to each other and sometimes meetings between our teams)

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A female reader, Campari Milano United Kingdom + , writes (21 March 2017):

I know it's hard, but stay away. You need to figure out how to deal with things without him before you can ever try to be friends.Good luck. Be strong!

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (21 March 2017):

I think you should give it a rest and try to get on. If you constantly bickered, that's because you're incompatible.

You say you stand-up for yourself? Why was that necessary?

You both have problems communicating; so what's the point? You'll just bring up the same topics you fight about and end on a sour-note as usual. You'll just feel worse.

Now you see the problem with dating people where you work.

You'll just have to be grown-up and have a professional attitude; and deal with seeing each other at work. That would be more reasonable and convenient than giving up a job over a breakup.

Avoid dating people you meet at work; then when it's over, it's over.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2017):

Honey, I'll be honest with you. No break up is ever easy and Cutting ties is even harder but that's part of growing up. That's the big step to moving on to that someone who will actually meet your needs.

What you are doing is holding yourself back by sitting in that same spot you said ain'good enough for you. The whole point of a break up is to no longer depend on the now ex emotionally.

That part of yourself is too precious to share with someone you dumped. It's like hunging around your vomit remembering what a great or terrible meal it once was. Move on. No part of growing up or getting strong is ever without pain.

Good luck

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