A
female
age
41-50,
*razyconfused
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been divorced from my ex husband for 8 years. Since then we have remained in each others lives either as friends or parents to our daughter. We have had many fights but have always forgiven one another. We have both had relationships that haven't worked out. We are thinking of moving in with each other for conveniece purposes and we would love to give our daughter a "complete family". We are thinking of an open relationship. Is this a possibilty or are we just nuts?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Hi
Im not a big fan of open relationships. But it could work? Although the down side is the influence it will have on your child as they get older? In fact thats a pretty big downfall.
Its kind of defeating the object?
C xxxxx
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 If you and your ex-husband can show your daughter a relationship built on mutual trust and respect, then go for it.
But the two of you ended it for a reason. Are we to believe that this reason has suddenly disappeared?
"Convenience" makes a very poor foundation for a relationship. It's like building a house out of straw when you could have used bricks that were a few feet further away. Your thought process gives me pause. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (15 August 2007):
 no not really if thats what you both want than do it but be careful not just for your self but your daughters sake indeed and open relationship can be a riskful thing she take care luv and i hope all works for the best but i do think you too should sit down and talk all this over a time or two before anything is all said an done the last thing you want is to give your daughter false hope of you two being together and all one nice complete family okay but just make sure its wants best for your lil girl and what makes you happy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): There are many aspects to consider here but I do wonder just how 'convenient' this really is? Can you simply not live near to one another and continue the support and consideration for your daughter that you have clearly done very positively over the last 8 years? Having an 'open' relationship in this scenario will purely be or sex with others I am guessing. The trouble is.... what happens if you meet someone you really do like - a real soulmate. I'm not sure they would find your arrangement with your 'ex' very easy to understand or buy in to. I wonder if you are closing your options when actually you don't need to. If you still have very strong feelings for your ex and are actually toe dipping back in to see if it will work then that is different - are you confusing yourself? My point is that open relationships, where there are still feelings towards the other partner, can be very difficult and may cause more tension between you two. This tension may manifest into arguments and this would then create precisely the environment your daughter would not wish for. One other point - you would need to consider the impact on your daughter of this 'open relationship' policy and understand more clearly the impact of your actions on her perception and view in later life of commitment, loyalty and boundaries in relationships. Overall - you need to spend plenty of time looking at all the options (not just this one) and the potential consequences of your actions. My gut feeling is.... why change things? From your description you seem to have a very good arrangement with your ex already - something which a lot of parents with children find very difficult to achieve. Don't do something you could regret.
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