A
female
age
30-35,
*ovaaa
writes: I feel like I get attached so easily either in relationships or even meeting a guy for the first night and developing feelings. I don't understand how it happens but is there anyway that I can become not so attached. I'm really starting to think that it might be the problem with my relationships and why they may not be working out... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): i have the same problem, i do think that we are just loving people who need lots of love also, we enjoy the pleasures of others company. i do also think that we should try to seperate yourself not to take things to seriously until we know that it is right. In other words "do you", but dont withdraw yourself from that person are act to busy because you might just end up pushing that person away.
A
male
reader, Mr Raindog  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Lovaaa,
I'm the same damn way. I call myself a sentimentalist even though I don't express it right away, I feel it immediately and anything I feel only leaves if they die a hard, nasty death.
As a few of the other posters have mentioned is that you crave love and perhaps more accurately, emotional security. This is normal, of course, but it seems that you feel a need to have it the first moment the possibility presents itself and react to it in turn.
My advice is for you to take your time. Challenge your feelings with questions...
Why do I feel this way now?
Do I really like this guy like that?
Am I getting attached too quickly?
...then answer them. Be honest with yourself, you're the only person who can be 100% honest with and take advantage of that fact. When you decide it's time to say something to your (next) guyfriend, do so in small phases and remember to take your time.
I hope that this was helpful.
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A
female
reader, JessIzFit  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 This only happens because you need some1 to love and too love you back, when you find the right person and get the love you need, then your problems will be solved =D
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Dear, you develop a quick attachment because you need love. This will not go away unless you get it. Since becoming attached is a problem, try to keep your manifestations of love in check. This is the only way to solve it. When someone does get to give you the love you need, you'll be fine.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (15 August 2007):
 well try being selfish in a sence and thinking about you too and also go have a good time with your gfs and just keep your mind busy and be cool youll be fine just try other things than giving your self all the time in the world to be complete and over attached to some one you may have some one but you never know what tom. brings
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A
male
reader, niceguy07 +, writes (15 August 2007):
 you may not want to put all your eggs in one basket. so if u meet a guy and develop feelings, try to hang out with your friends more often. become active on your own. i mean u still are young and you are going thru alot of changes, so that is a factor. just try not to think about it so much.
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