A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like to find out what you would do my girlfriend called me up 1 day saying a guy(her friend) tried to molest her when he invited her to go out because it was the last day he was in town. She gave me his number to call him up. Then he told me he didnt try to moleste her that they've been dating since that he's kissed, she gave him a bj, and that he's disvirgined her. He sent me messages that he said she sent to him they are typed the way she does.I asked her bout it. She denied it,started crying,and even got mad at me for not believing her. Ive begged yelled at her tried to break-up and blamed myself so she would tell me the truth. All she told me was that she did like him but it was a mistake for her to enter his car that nothing happened btw them. I believe her and i know he was lying but i think she isnt telling me everything and something he said is true. Is she lying about cheating on me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): To believe one or the other... Kisses have been exchanged, telephone numbers, something happened in the car.. and then what....
Who knows...
But lets assume that a woman never lies about this type of thing.... Tell her that you have contacted the guy, and he and you and her should go to the police... If that's a little strong.. then suggest that you should all have a word with her and his parents....
I bet the truth would come out if parents/police/authority figures were involved...
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 August 2008):
Well she gave you his number... that's the bit that makes me think that although she may have led him on and even had something more than friendship going on, she was telling the truth about him doing something unwanted. Either that or it's a really really clever double bluff. (Is she an expert chess player?)
He is not going to admit to you that he tried to kidnap rape and murder her. Guilty or not then he's going to try and make her out to be a slut so it's not his fault.
There is no way of knowing who is telling the truth here. But to be honest I doubt she is going to want to be with you since you didn't believe her.
It's going to take a lot of work to get through this so it might just be better to end it since you are both very young, and this is very heavy stuff.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Chippymunk  +, writes (30 August 2008):
 Hmm this one is hard, but I'm suspicious that she used the word "mistake." If I got into my ex-gf's car and we had a fight or something, i'd most likely say, "I shouldn't of have gotten in." not, "It was a mistake." (implying something more serious) But unless she tells you the truth, it'll be very hard to find out what happened. Good luck
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (30 August 2008):
 It's hard to get a "reading" on just who is telling the truth in this case, but you can bet that it lies somewhere in between the two stories.
If I had to guess, I would say that the story about being "molested" is probably a bit of an exaggeration, and the blow job is pure dreaming on his part. Kissing I would believe. Whether they went further than that, well there we start to get into a gray area.
So I think that your instincts are spot on. He's stretching the truth like a rubber band, but she's not exactly winning the George Washington Cherry Tree award either.
(For those of you outside the US, there is a legend that when the first President of the US was a boy, and his father asked him who chopped down a cherry tree in their yard, he admitted doing it instead of lying even though he knew he would be punished.)
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