A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:All my college procedures are done online.Today I had to choose my class schedule. Obviously, my college has thousands of students, so we're assigned a period of time where we could chose it (for example, all names starting with A do it from 9am to 11am).I got today from midnight to 2am (crappy and unfair but I can't do anything about it).I had set a date with my boyfriend, he was even supposed to spend the night.I had told him hours before that I had to be home by midnight, or I'd lose the schedule I wanted.He was absolutely fine with it so we got home by 11:50pm, just enough time to turn on the pc and log in.Obviously, the server was PACKED and very, very slow.I started at 12am. By 12:05am my boyfriend had a weird face. I asked if everything was OK, he said he was bored. I apologized, explained that I HAD to do that and that it would take 20 minutes, TOPS.At 12:10am I was almost done.My boyfriend said he felt he was being stood up like an idiot, that he HATES waiting, got up with a very angry face, said "what the hell, doing this at midnight!" and left saying we'd see each other tomorrow.Even though I explained I could do NOTHING about the time they gave me. If I didn't do that on the period they gave me, I'd literally LOSE my place. He made it seem like it was my fault that I had to do it at midnight! Also, a grown, 29-year-old man that got THAT mad because he had to wait 30 minutes?Of course I wasn't giving him much attention, but I was doing something that would change my life for the next year! I finished what I was doing by 12:30am.An hour later he was online at home, I went to talk to him and he was normal, then said goodbye and told me he loved me, that he'd text me tomorrow morning. So it just looks like this was a huge excuse for him to leave. And I'm feeling like crap, because if he was tired he could just say, he knows I would never get mad if he wanted to go home and sleep!Also, this isn't something I'll talk about with him. He's very stubborn, if he thinks he's right, he will NOT change his mind. SO. Even tho we are ok, what can I even do?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (6 February 2013):
 This is a BIG RED FLAG. You have yourself a wimpy needy boy here. Get rid and go find a MAN.
It's about time you stopped pandering to his needs and think about what you want. Can you see yourself with this guy long-term? Really would you want to marry someone like this and spend the rest of your life with them?
Oh dear, he's bored while you sort out your future.
This isn't a man you've got here. He's a kid and a loser. Find someone else who is confident, supportive and happy your thinking about your own future.
A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 A guy who refuses to see that he is wrong or behaving irrational will get very hard to deal with :S maybe you should reconsider him as a partner. If he refuses to hear your point of view then he's just self absorbed... It to be the case if he doesn't realise care how important enrolling is for your future, only that he's entertained...
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A
female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (6 February 2013):
This is one of the reasons I broke up with my (recent...very recent) ex. I don't know how long you two have been together, but mine got worse with time. I would buy groceries and bring them to his house and cook dinner. One night I was 5 minutes late (mind you, he refused to keep a refrigerator so I had to go to the store by bike daily and all the way back to his house) and I saw him leaving his house. I stopped him and asked where he was going. He blew up at me because I was 5 minutes late, cussing me out and telling me to go ^^k myself because he was going to a restaurant instead...but wait...the NIGHT BEFORE, he was over 2 hours late for our date -- and no, I didn't give him a hard time about it. In your case, here is the flaw:If he was so tired, why did he not just go home and sleep? Why did he go home and onto HIS computer? If this is a new relationship, I would be wary of this behavior reoccurring. Maybe his true colors are beginning to show. On the other hand, if you have been together for a couple years and this is unusual behavior for him, maybe he was just having a bad time and accidentally took it out on you. It sounds like maybe he needed to use the computer for something?? Or maybe he just wanted alone time because he was upset over something unrelated to you?Anyway, that is my advice. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): I think you know deep down that this is just one of the many issues in this relationship. This isn't a healthy relationship. You already know this. So why are you tolerating it?
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (6 February 2013):
 what an obnoxious response on his part. that would really aggravate me if i were you. you told him in advance and he still acted like that? that's uncalled for.and also, assuming he was telling the truth, and he was bored, does he really require that much constant stimulation all the time? you two can't just relax and chill together, or he can't just entertain himself for a short period of time? you're right, it's ridiculous for a 29 year old man. i go over to my girlfriends house while she studies - sometimes for hours. i just watch tv and go out for smoke breaks when she takes them. doesn't bother me AT ALL because i like just being in her presence. i don't need her constant attention. does he have a habit of needing constant stimulation like that? or was this out of the norm for him?it's possible he was using it as an excuse to leave. but as you said, if you've never given him a reason to think he can't just tell you he's tired, then there's no reason to think that's what it was. you say you can't talk to him about it. that's not really a great sign. you should be able to talk to him about your feelings without him telling you you're wrong. that's the joy of having feelings - you're never wrong for them. you're entitled to feel how you feel.
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