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Was I wrong to use another guy's pictures when chatting to her? Or is she over-reacting?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I had been talking to this girl for a few weeks just for fun and chatting with her. Initially I posted this other guys pictures.

She got really upset and yelled at me and also removed me as her contact. From my understanding we flirted but there was nothing serious about it.

She would still go on the chat and started flirting with other guys and saying she likes this guy who is into sports (and she knows I'm more of a computer geek). She said she likes guys who play sports. She would talk to everyone in chat but ignore me in a really obvious way especially since I was the one she mostly talked to. I apologized and tried to explain I didn't want to post any at first.

I need a girls perspective.....is what I did wrong? Is she overreacting and why is she so upset with me?

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A female reader, SMARTERthaniappear United States +, writes (19 June 2011):

SMARTERthaniappear agony auntShe is definetly not overreacting. I'm a girl that would have been furous too because I just don't understand why people just can't be truthful. I take lying very seriously. I think girls do more than guys so that's probably why you think she overreacted. She thought you were someone you weren't and now she doesn't know who you are. Depending on your age you could be a pervert for all she knows. There are laws against identity theft and that's exactly what you went against. She might think you're hiding your identity because of what she might think of you or because you're just plain freaky. Might sound harsh but just about everyone thinks of the negative before the positive. Apologizing was the right thing to do.

I HOPE I HELPED ^.^

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011):

Well you told lies about yourself and a lot of people wouldn't like this. It can create a lack of trust in the future as you could lie about other things. Personally I would be just the same.

You might want to examine your motives for lying. If they were fear that she wouldn't like the look of you for example, then you can decide whether you want to admit this and apologise, and see whether that helps.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2011):

N91 agony auntBecause you lied to her, not exactly the best thing to do whilst getting to know someone...what it if got to the stage where she wanted to meet you and you didn't look anything like the pictures that you showed her?

Bad move my friend, she has every right to be peed off with you....if she doesn't accept your apologies then its time to move on.

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A female reader, totty-flossy United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2011):

totty-flossy agony auntI think that this girl is probably a bit freaked out that you were trying to hide your identity! how can she trust you after this? you could of been anybody pretending to be somebody else! Think how you would feel if you had been chatting to someone and then found out they had lied to you about who they were! maybe this girl is just shallow and only liked you because of your picture and once she realised you weren't that person she lost interest?! Either way I would suggest you just leave this girl alone and move on, She obviously doesnt want to speak to you so put it down to experience and learn from it! don't make the same mistake again and next time make sure your pictures are actually you, that way you dont look like your hiding something! xx

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