A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Lucky 17M dating incredible 17F. My girl’s sister goes with us on most dates because the sister broke up with her guy (who was awful). Used to go on double dates which is why I know the dude was truly awful and no good for her. My girl and her sister are twins but not identical just similar. Very different personalities. My girl is sweet and modest and so kind and more religious. She can be a tease but she is serious about waiting on sex and I know I have to just be patient and know the teasing is just for fun. Her sister is blunt and likes to say and do things for shock value and has had bad relationships and admits she is not a virgin. She has a bad reputation which is sad but some of that is bogus and due to jerks talking trash. Had to punch one jerk over it and got detention. Even though she is not the extreme bad girl people seem to think the sister is constantly flirting with me and trying to make me horny and flustered which makes my girl laugh cause she knows how much I am struggling with my own sexual frustration to begin with in the first place. My girl likes getting me flustered too because she knows I will behave no matter how much they make me squirm. She says she is proving to her sister that good boys can be fun too. It is kind of a fantasy for some guys to be with two girls I know and I have had those thoughts but I am not trying to go there and I think the sister is all talk and just likes being affectionate and touching a lot because she does not have a guy of her own and sees how I treat her sister and thinks it would be fun to seduce a nice guy. People can be cruel and spread rumors we are all three having sex together but no one is having sex. The parents keep a very close eye on me and we spend all our time mostly at their house. I think the parents think I am low IQ for some reasons because they talk to me like I am just a silly boy who is friend to both of their daughters. I know it is weird and hard to explain but it is not like that. My girl is my girl and her sister is nice but just her sister to me. It is funny when the sister says inappropriate things just to mess with me mentally and I literally do not know how to react. It is so obvious what she is doing. She told my girl in front of me they should learn to give oral sex practicing on me. Not serious but obviously it put that idea into my head which was frustrating. Watch movies and videos together and they both lay on me and cuddle a lot, including heads on my shoulder or chest and in my lap sometimes. Lots of whispered jokes about my erections during cuddling. A lot of kisses on the cheek and shoulder. It is nice but makes me confused to say the least. Nothing is going to happen no matter how much she teases and flirts with me because I would never betray my girl and I don’t think the sister would actually go there no matter how much she jokes. Do not blame all my sexual frustration on the sister because my girl teases me a lot too just because she likes to know how desperate I am to do it even though we are virgins by choice. Try to create time for just me and my girl but she always ends up inviting her sister to join us and tells me it is important to include her because she is lonely and does not have a nice guy and if she is with us she will be less likely to reach out to someone who is not a good guy for attention. Got bonus points from my girl when I got them both stuff for valentines so the sister did not feel left out. Sister joked I was her boyfriend in her dreams. Asked if she really meant that and she made a joke of it said she doesn’t date virgins even in her dreams. Don’t mind paying for them both when we go out and I have money for that from a good job where I get good tips. Want to stay on good terms because if I ever marry my girl we will be family and because she is deep down a good person who just likes to mess with me because I am what she calls a “church boy.” Not like a perfect oh so great guy though like I am trying to seem amazing. They put up with my annoying ADHD and OCD mannerisms. They both come to my soccer games and sometimes practices so I get the benefit of two fans. They have a good relationship as sisters and I think that is cool, but it still feels weird sometimes. If I had a twin brother, I would not invite him to go with me and my girl on all our dates or let him lay his head on my girl’s shoulder or lap or cuddle with her and me on a couch watching Netflix or youtube. Not asking about giving up being a virgin or trying to initiate something with the sister because not being faithful to my girl is just not going to happen and not what this post is about so please do not make replies about that. Just need advice on how to deal with the right now situation and be a good boyfriend, a good friend to her sister, and a good guy who wants to have more privacy but may not get it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2022): Just echoing what others have said but I wanted to also note that it's no wonder her parents treat you like a silly friend of both of there's because that's what you've become, a friend to both of them.How do you know you and your girlfriend are actually an item? Yours and her actions (and that of her sister) don't say that. The discussions that go on between you are that of a silly group of friends larking about. Your actions echo that of a Roger from Sister Sister (Youtube for reference if you've never seen it). A silly boy next door who has a crush on both sisters and continues to charm both of them until one caves. You may say you only want the one sister but your actions say otherwise. Whether her sister has a 'nice bf' or not, if you want your girlfriend and her parents to recognise you as her boyfriend and not a boy next door, stop buying her sister gifts. Stop letting her lie on your shoulder to watch movies. Cut off the jokes about sex by letting her know that talk is reserved for your gf! Finally, let your gf know that you are not her sisters bf and that you and she needs alone time....and mean it!If she insists on inviting her sis all the time then I would take that as a sign that she doesn't want more than friendship and call it a day.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2022): Oops! I just realized you're both 17! My bad! Everything else I've written still applies.
I found a typo, I meant to say:
"You know she's only kidding-around; but you wouldn't want your girlfriend [to] misunderstand."
P.S.
I guess their parents are still trying to feel you out; and it takes time for parents of teens to let-go, and trust their teenage sons and daughters. One daughter did get her heart broken because of a boy! Being parents of daughters, they have to take the extra step of protection. Boys can't get pregnant! That's a fact of nature, not a double-standard!!!
I still don't think it's entirely your girlfriend's idea that her sister tags along on your dates. As I said in my first post, maybe you should ask for permission to have some time alone; just incase the parents are urging the other daughter to keep an eye on you when they aren't around. I think the other twin likes you, and wishes she had you for her own boyfriend; but it's a bad practice when one sister sabotages (or becomes a wedge in-between) the other sister's relationships. It often depends on the guy to do the right thing; to keep two sisters from becoming enemies. Some guys would take advantage of the situation; but they are a poor example of manhood, and are rotten to the core. Besides, once the two females realize he's the reason they're at each-other's throats, he's kicked to the curb! Justly so! I don't think that will be the case here.
As for the times they become a tag-team, trying to get you sexually-aroused; it's a test of your self-control. It's also disrespectfully making fun of your manhood. That's when a man has to take-charge; and let females know that you're not a fool or a toy to be messed with. You know it's all in fun, but sometimes it's not okay. If they won't stop, you'll have to leave. Your manhood is not to be childishly-teased, or foolishly played with; it's part of your nature as a man, and it is a serious thing. Yes, it's a pleasure at times; but women aren't the only ones who get to set boundaries! While they try to get all high and mighty when they think our behavior is inappropriate! Not to say they have no right, because they most definitely do! It goes two-ways! They just don't get to corner the market on appropriate behavior! They have to respect our manhood; just as they expect us to respect them as women.
I wish you the best! I like the way you think, and enjoyed responding to your post.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2022): I don't think you need any advice, I think you're doing just fine. You're a good sport about everything; and the wonderful things you say about both sisters indicates you have a heart of gold, and you're worthy of their parents' trust.
Girls at their age like to mess with boys, just to see how they react. You get a gold medal, because you're always a gentleman; but you do deserve a little more respect. Just let both of them know that sometimes it bothers you when they double-up and tease you, and you're only one guy. It's too much.
It seems they're both sweet girls, and you have to remember that that's what they are...girls! They still have a playful childish side; while they also show signs of growing-up. Most parents won't let their daughters date at 16, let alone an older boy. Judging by your post, you have such a great personality and trustworthiness; it seems you are always welcome in their home. Her sister shares you, only because she cares so much for her sister; and you're a really nice-guy, so you are also being a male role-model for both the girls. Keep it up!
Take charge once in awhile, to let them both know that you need some time alone with your girlfriend. You can't be both their boyfriend, just one! Her sister will understand; she's just lonely, and she needs an example of what a good-guy is like. It will imprint on her mind, and she will look for somebody like you for herself. Just keep reminding her, you will never cheat on your girlfriend, no matter how hard she keeps trying...so she should stop trying! Girls need to learn that a guy can still be fun and likeable; even though he's a nice-guy. It's the "bad-boys" who get most of the attention; but these girls are smart enough to see
and appreciate the kindness in you, and you have a good sense of self-control and a sense of honor. You are mature, respectful, and set a great example.
Just ask her sister nicely to let you spend time with your girlfriend; so you can show her how much you care about her above all other girls. I kind of think her parents might also be the culprits behind both the sisters being together with you at the same time. She's somewhat of a chaperone; to keep things on the up and up. They may also be encouraging her to spend some time with you; because you're a good influence on their daughters. You represent the best in a guy your age; presenting a great example of a good upbringing, decency, and a healthy attitude towards females. That is rare.
You could also politely ask if it's okay with her parents, if you spend a little time alone with your girlfriend. You don't want to hurt her sister's feelings; but you two never seem to get to spend much time to be together. Let them know you won't try anything, and that they can trust you alone together. I think it's a great thing they are allowing their daughter to date you, knowing you're older; but they're keeping a watchful eye on you, like good-parents are supposed to.
I have a feeling when your girlfriend turns 17, that they'll give you both a little more freedom to date each-other without a chaperone. By then, even your girlfriend will get tired of sharing her wonderful boyfriend; and will encourage her sister to get her own. That's just a matter of time anyway, you're just a stand-in for the time being. Twins come as a package, and the girls are still very young; it takes time for them to discover their individuality. For now, they're inseparable; but they will always share minds like the Borg on the Star Trek series. A collective mentality that is shared by twins, triplets, quads, and up. It's a natural tendency; because they used to be roommates in one womb, and raised as a brood. It's a beautiful thing when they love each-other as you've described.
As for the flirting, just tell her that you know what she's up-to; and she shouldn't disrespect you, or her sister, like that. You know she's only kidding-around; but you wouldn't want your girlfriend misunderstand. You don't want her to think flirting is okay with you; because you care about her, and you also care very much about her feelings. Just ignore her when she gets out of hand, ask her to cut it out! She needs a reaction to encourage this behavior; but if she knows it's not working, she won't get as much fun out of it. Her last boyfriend was probably a cheater, and didn't treat her well; and she has to learn that all guys are not bad like the one she had. She's also jealous of her sister, and trying to mess it up for her. It's not because she's a bad person; we all have a darkside, it's our human nature. What she's doing is wrong, and politely tell her so. It doesn't mean she will stop, but she will learn you're not that kind of guy. Proving to the twin sisters that some guys have principles, and we can stick to them.
If you have to wear an extra pair of undershorts to keep jimmy under control; I think you should. It's going too far to let the girls know when you're having an erection; that is very private. It's one thing when it's just you and your girlfriend; but even then, you have to keep it under control. It shouldn't be on display for the two sisters; and they shouldn't always be aware of when it's happening. It's not something you can always control; but you can control who knows, and who doesn't, or when it's not appropriate for them to know.
You seem like a very nice well-rounded guy. I wouldn't mind you dating my daughter, if I had one.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (14 April 2022):
 You need to put your foot down and talk to your girlfriend. It may be okay for your girl to tease you and cuddle with you and all that, but it certainly is not okay for her sister to be doing this as well. You are your girlfriend‘s boyfriend, not her sister’s. Allowing her to cuddle with you and buying her gifts on Valentine’s Day is not appropriate. So talk to your girlfriend about your concerns, and maybe try and help her sister find her own guy instead of using you.
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