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Did I tell him too soon that I am staying a virgin until I marry?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2004) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2007)
A , anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I have a huge problem!! I have always been known as "always the friend, never the girlfriend." I feel really comfortable around guys and have a lot of great platonic relationships. The only problem is that I while I harbor crushes on some of these guys, they never want to make it more than friends. I've never really been an agressive person in the dating department because I'm really scared of rejection. So I wait until I'm sure that someone is really, really into me before I make a move. However, all of this went out of the window when I met someone at college. We work together and have a blast just hanging out and joking around all the time. He always jokes around with me and coworkers about us getting together and having a fling or something. I ended up developing a HUGE crush on this guy, and couldn't take the jokes anymore until I knew how he really felt. So I called him one night and we talked about it for two hours. The main problem is that I really like him, but am a virgin for religious reasons and am planning on staying one until I get married. I told him right up front so there would be problems down the road. He was really fine with that and by the end of the conversation, he said that he really was interested in pursuing a relationship with me. He said he was really flattered and was excited that I had made the first move. But, the next day, he ignored me completely and I tried being really cool about it. Being that open that quickly with a guy is totally out of character for me. Did I bring the virgin thing up too quickly? Should I give it some time? I'm really confused!!!!

Confused and Heartbroken

View related questions: co-worker, crush, heartbroken

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007):

I wouldnt worry too much about it, the important thing is that you remain a virgin for your husband. My wife did and I can say from first hand experience how important it was and how much it meant to me. Of course , by her saving herself she had her fair share of similar experience with guys like the one you describe. One of her exes dumped her because she wouldnt have sex. I am eternally grateful and love her so much that she saved herself for me

good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006):

i think it's best to be up front with the person if theyreally care they will understand and respect you fro your decision

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2005):

Honestly in my opinion I do not believe so since sooner or later he would of find out regardless. Personally in I find it that in today's society with men and women being equal, you dont really came in strongly making the first move. Some peoples are actually shy and obviously someone will have to make the move. A person like that I would say either he is two faced saying that he was cool about it but then acted another way or perhaps there are reasons for him to do so. My advice would be to confront him on it to see what is the case before making a final judgement. Of course this is ultimately your decision as to follow through with the relationship or to choose not to. A final thought of opinion would be this: Majority of men and women are lairs (despite that some lies are good and others are bad depending) but regardless of which it is either for good or bad it is up to us to acknowledge it or ignore it. We lie because of the situation or for obtaining our goal. Men would go all out of their way to of course make an impression on women just like how articles have attention grabbing sentences. Our words are "grabbers" so your focus would be at us. Whereas women does the same more or less. Just keep in mind that trust in the relationship is always ultimately the key, once the key is lost there is no entry to the love. I hope my advice proves to be useful to you.

Good luck and hopefully you would find the guiding light you seek your answers to~

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