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Will I ever find true love?

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Question - (10 December 2004) 46 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2010)
A , anonymous writes:

Hi.I'm a 39-yr-old guy and I have had two girlfriends in my life.Both were brief relationships as I was poor then and also because I'm not handsome.So they left me as soon as they found someone handsome/rich.I haven't had a girlfriend for many years...maybe for about nine years.Though I am materially a bit more secure I don't know what to do with my physique... Women like to talk confidentially to me but when they see that I've fallen in love they just move away from me.Recently I was the sincere confident of a a multi-millionaire woman whom I helped get out through her divorce-sufferings caused by her violent husband...She used to tell me everything about herself,even her most intimate secrets.We've even kissed and fondled once...But when she saw that I had fallen badly in love with her,she just turned me down,insulted me and made up a plan with her husband and made him curse and threaten me...

Will I ever get a sincere love in my life? Even if the answer is 'no' please tell me.Maybe love is not made for everyone? Or rather everyone isn't made for love?

Thanks and have a nice day. F

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

True love is nothing but illusion .. What you need to look out for is the inner peace.. When you are with that special some1 you will find yourself in a place of complete tranquility .. Dont search for it outside first find it within, rest all will fall in place..

Tc

G

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A female reader, HermonieBaggins United States +, writes (22 August 2010):

This post is 6 years old...I am curious, have you found love since you posted this message?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010):

It's nice to kno I am not on my own here. I'm only 23 but have NEVER had a boyfriend and it can make u feel so empty. I had a chance recently but kinda blew it cuz I wasn't open about it with a family member and right. Now I can't stop thinking bout what could have been. it's eating me up inside. I'm just not sure I'm meant to fall in love.....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010):

as an advice, don't be to showy with your feelings into a girl.. as i read in your stories that the girl had turned you down everytime you show your feelings to her..

just give her enough time to show her love to you by then you can show your true love also to her..

most girls don't like a pushy guy meaning they don't like the fast way.. just take time ok..

just wait also for girl to said she love you..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010):

it takes time. I think there is someone out there for everyone. I to am going through some love issues and i am 37. I just dont know when i am going to find real love. I just recently broke up with my ex and i am still in love with him. He has another friend and i have one as well but i let that friend knoe that i am still in love with my ex. So all i can say is when it is time you will know. she wouldnt acre how u look.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010):

Hey,

Honestly, yes you're situation sounds tough. And I'm sorry. But never ever give up. Because the way I see it, you don't find love. Love finds you. Every day could be "the day". The day that you walk down the street and bump into your soul mate. You can't predict these kinds of things. Some people meet their soulmate when they're 12. Others in college. And others when they're in their retirement homes. Sometimes waiting sucks, but for the right person, it'll be worth it. So stop worrying, and just live your life, be you, and love will find you. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010):

Watch the Bridges of Madison County with Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood. Meryls character was married for many years to her husband happy enought but then later in life autumn years along comes this man, (clint eastwood) that sweeps her right off (unintentionally) they connect and its that Great Love. What does this mean?

Theres different love experiences. You can have the earth shuddering grande amour..which may not live long or you can build and nurture one that starts slow and if both put into it, develops into a stead slow sure burn for years, and may not be the thrilling crazy almost teen one but. its also love and its sure. I guess your asking when even teh second kind of love will be returned cuz even thats not easy.. is it? dunno. Even Solomon said love between a man and a woman is a mystery. Thats a bit discouraging cuz he knew many things but not this..

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A female reader, talklove Ukraine +, writes (8 June 2010):

Well, I can say one thing, love is and could be around the corner, if really want love, it will find you. If you really want something, it will happen, you just got to believe in it and it will happen. Think about it day and night, imagine it, draw it in your mind, talk about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

Dear F

Im not going to beat around the bush, be realistic, love isnt just going to fall into your lap one day you have to go out there and get it. I believe their is a sweetheart out there for everyone, you just have to go out there and search for them, God sends these tasks to try us and you WILL find love if you truely want it.

Best of luck. J.

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A female reader, Cupidexpert United States +, writes (25 April 2010):

Dear F,

Your soulmate is out there. She's young, beautiful, funny, and totally into you! Don't be desperate to find her! You'll ruin Cupid's plan! Just believe she's out there. I promise you she'll enter your life in a mysterious, surprising way and when she walks down the aisle and smile at you and your life together ahead of you, you'll curse the day you dint believe in cupid, love, and soulmates.

My brother in law married my sister three years ago. He was 38, she was 22. They dated for two weeks and somehow they knew they were meant for eachothers! Three months later, we all heard wedding bells! Now, my sister has two kids, living happily with her husband.

About your physical appearance, I'm going to be honest with you! My brother in law is not exactly mr.world, but let's just say he works out a

LOT. I think you should don the same. beauty is meant for girls, body is meant for guys. Embrace your manhood and go lift some weights! And remember! Arnold shwaziniger is in his fourtries too, and he is definitely well built! So don't use ur age as an excuse not to work out.

I hope you believe in what I'm telling you. I learned what I said from experince. Just believe in love even if you don't have it and your world will change. Trust me.

Cupidexpert

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010):

Life has balance. There are those who find true love & live happily ever after. Those who have to work a little at it but have a good relationship. Those who have to work damn hard to keep one.... And then there is me (and the others like me, and perhaps you) who will never find someone & will live with heartache forever. Some people say life is short, but do it with a broken heart & it feels like eternity....

Sorry mate, but I think at 37 (I'm 35), it's to late to find love....

tylordurton at hotmail dot com

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A male reader, Genkida,a United States +, writes (3 February 2010):

Well In my experience, there were only 2 times where I found love and it found me, like a perfect harmony of nature or something. When i tried to look for love, I never found it or it was one sided (vis ver). At both those wonderful instances where i can now look back and see that it was all some weird set of totally random events that lead to something amazing... I was NOT looking for love, i was just.... being. Hopefully it will happen again and maybe i wont screw it up for a 3rd time. Otherwise i can only wish you luck, but def DO NOT get down or think that your at fault for something or start over thinking all this mojo in your head, it will have negative effects and makes thing worse. Just leave it as a failed attempt and go onward to the next, yes easier said then done but you must! NO ONE can be blamed or faulted for falling in or out of love with anyone.. POW! ^_^

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A female reader, anastatia United States +, writes (22 December 2009):

I would like to know how these women know that you have fallen hard for them....it seems to be at this point you are losing them and fast.

Maybe you are becoming too clingy and not letting things take time to manifest, you can not force matters of the heart..they must work out on their own.

You may not want to let ALL of your feelings be put out there on a whim...take your time and maintain your composure.

best wishes.

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A female reader, anastatia United States +, writes (22 December 2009):

I would like to know how these women know that you have fallen hard for them....it seems to be at this point you are losing them and fast.

Maybe you are becoming too clingy and not letting things take time to manifest, you can not force matters of the heart..they must work out on their own.

You may not want to let ALL of your feelings be put out there on a whim...take your time and maintain your composure.

best wishes.

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A female reader, KayBee South Africa +, writes (18 August 2009):

Go out there man and find your woman...beleive me, she is there. You can do nothing about the way you look physically. One day you will find a woman who will love you for you - looks and all.

Be attractive, presentable and go out there!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009):

If you try hard, you might be able to find love, but, you have to work for it. Put yourself out there! If you really try hard, I think you might be able to, besides

Have fun while you're at it!!!

: )

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009):

You will find your true love. Do not ever settle for less!!! Life is too short to live a lie.

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A female reader, evesther United States +, writes (24 January 2009):

You will find true love. Please do not settle for something you do not believe is a true love. Life is too short! Do not live a lie. You would waste your time or your possible partner's time- and never be happy. Figure out what you want from your partner and go for it. Do not ever give up!!!

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A male reader, monkey luv United Kingdom +, writes (24 September 2008):

I strongly recommend you download some torrents of David Deangelo dating material. He shares some very profound truths and delves into the deep fundamental laws of attraction. And it applies to all areas of your life.

From what you've briefly described is sounds like a classic case of falling for a woman and then showing yourself to be of a lower social status. Weather you feel this to be the case or not I strongly recommend you download David D's stuff you can't lose.

PS make sure to pass on the advise to someone else.

And av a good one!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

love is out there, i know you've probably heard this a million times but just hang in there because i promise love will find you. when you like a girl try not to show your in love with her unless the feelings are mutual, maybe their not ready to be "in love" with you yet but give it time, it is definitely worth waiting for.

“May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.”

hope i helped

good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

I am sorry to say that it seems very unlikely.

I myself am married with 2 children. However, I have never loved my wife. The only reason I married her was that she does love me, and after a lot of years together I had given up on actually finding a love that would love me back.

As with you, the few women I have ever loved has never shown any interest in me at all.

I think most marriages are built on the fact that one person actually loves the other, and the other is fairly contempt with how things are. "As long as you do not find your true soul-mate you might as well stick with it" the other person thinks and bides their time. And soon enough life is over. At least this seems to be the case for me.

Think about it; How many times have you loved anyone? If the same amount of people applies for the person you are in love with the chances of two people loving each other are ridiscule.

I hope this low-chance-percentage happens to you, but for most of us (whether we want to admit it or not) I do not think it is the case. It is something that is sold to us from movies and media.

A non-believer...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

Definitely! Love is out there for everyone, everyone has a soul mate!

Do not ever put yourself down! The right person is out there for you, you just have not come across her yet. But do not worry cause she is most definitely waiting around the corner for you. Try not to think about it and it will come naturally, when you are not excepting it love, stressing about this situation is not going to help. A girl can smell it a mile off. Let nature just take its course! Try taking up something like yoga that will make you come to peace with yourself, cause you have obviously got self esteem issue if you belief you are not attractive... Everyone has beauty, just some in more ways than others. And who is to say what beauty is, different people have different perception of this. The people you seem to talk to are self absorbed people that feed on your insecurities, stay away from them! Wishing you all the best on your journey to happiness, you will find it. Good Luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

i am a single white female 37 stil looking for true love and like many others wondering if i will ever find it ,everyone tells me hang in there ur prince charming will come and when he does u will know ,Let Go and Let God ,i believe in miracles ,we just have to have faith ,best of luck to all love seekers one day it will happen

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008):

I feel your pain. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said women l ove a confident man and also when you said the women move away when you tell them or show that you love them. What I would say to you is to not change yourself but to change the way you see yourself, learn howto be confident, show that you arent seeking and it may even find you. Its ashame that this life is so short so we have to try and learn from our mistakes, we are our own storywriter and if you want to make the next chapter a stormer you can. You have the pen! And the pen is mightier than the sword.. that doesnt really apply here I just wanted to write it because it sounds good. Address your own issues methodically and carefully, try to see it from the other persons view point. The world can be your oyster!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008):

i am sorry that love doesn't work for you. but sometimes you just have to go on with life with out love. sometimes love isn't meant for everybody. for example i don't have love right now. i like this guy, and he likes me back but we are just so scared to make a move. maybe you do have love and its somebody that you will never imagine it being. and she is probably scared to make the first move.

don't give up on love, try very hard, and remember looks aren't everything. sometimes its your personality.

GOOD LUCK IN LOVE

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A female reader, lonelynMD United States +, writes (10 June 2008):

hello this is lonelynMD

im an openly gay black female who has trouble trying to find the right woman to have in my life. Even though my friend tell me to be patient love will come to you. I still feel lonley. My last two relationships ended very painful to me. I was doing all the right things to make the relationship right. I never cheated or raised my hand to hurt. Im a good person and i have so much to offer. Im not rich i work hard and im going to school to better my career. just for once through out all the broken hearts will i ever find tru love?

LonelynMD

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

course mate...love tends to find you when you least expect it. Appreciate what you have in life and dont get yourself down

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):

Hey well it sounds like you have a rough time in your love life. But i have been told that what dosent kill us makes us stronger and by the sounds of you, negative thinking is getting to you. You are thinking way to negativley and girls dont like that. Think to yourself i am a nice person who treat girls right, if they dont want that then thats their loss. Dont bring yourself down because of other people, think are they really worth it. Maybe when you meet new girls you should try and take it really slow. Dont be so quick to fall in love with them.Even playing hard to get sometimes works;-) Just tke everyday as it comes you never know mrs right maybe right in front of you. You never know what life holds for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):

Hey well it sounds like you have a rough time in your love life. But i have been told that what dosent kill us makes us stronger and by the sounds of you negative thinking is getting to you. You are thinking way to negativley and girls dont like that. Think to yourself i am a nice person who treat girls right, if they dont want that then thats their loss. Dont bring yourself down because of other people, think are they really worth it. Maybe when you meet new girls you should try and take it really slow. Dont be so quick to fall in love with them.Even playing hard to get sometimes works;-) Just tke everyday as it comes you never know mrs right maybe right in front of you. You never know what life holds for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

Carl

-Sometimes I find it hard finding the right one I have been in a long term relationship before 4 years and since I split up I've had girlfriends but none have been the ones I've seeking.

Gets disheartening and you feel like giving up, I tend to have a good drink in the house and forget about it, She's got to be out there somewhere we all got to keep searching no matter how much it gets us down and we feel like giving up, don't matter if ur 20 or 50 long as you find her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007):

I don't think love is for all of us, but it true what theu say that if you look too hard you will never find it, let nature take it's course and stop putting such hard expectations of yourself. Be happy that you are healthy and wealthly in other areas of your life : ) Being single is a specialthing too many 'coupled' people yearn to have the life to do what they want when they want, remember the grass is not always greener... take care

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A female reader, Gemini1506 United Kingdom +, writes (6 September 2007):

Hi

Firstly can i just say maybe that woman who left once you fell in love wasn't ready remember she did just get out of a relationship, she probably just needed someone to talk to. Seriously though dont give up there is someone out there for you! SSo dont let past experiances bring you down.

Maybe the next time you meet someone you like tell them straight what your looking for.. if they dont feel the same way then it would be easier to move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007):

You'll find true love. There are women out there who appericiate what's on the inside. They won't care that you're not handsome or rich. They'll love you for your caring heart and soul. If not, then I guess you're just too nice for anyone to want to live their life with someone as unique as you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007):

of course you will find true lovvee..

its out there for everyone

even though you are going through somehard times

you will find lovee

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

See I am not going to say, dont worry, with time you will find someone. I myself have wondered if we are all meant for finding love. Who really knows. But something that I am certain of is, if you allow others to put you down, just because you are not as "great" looking as other men, then it allows women to walk all over you and possibly use you for the time being. Hold you head up high. Yes, looks matter, and you must be attracted to your significant other, but as we age, our appearance that use to be "hot", "sexy" "great" fades away. I settled for men who were not at the standards that I would have liked, and I am talking about money, looks. But I gave it a try, because I found something I liked. I found some kind of connection. The only reason, I broke it off with these men, was soley because after some time of getting to know one another, I realized I was putting in way more effort then they were. It was not a balanced relationship, thus it ended. Some on good terms, others on bad terms. But my suggetion to you is( whether you like to take my advice or not)totally up to you, is that these women that have left you, sorry to say, have used you. There is nothing wrong with you in falling in love. The problem was that they mislead you into thinking they were searching for love as well. Maybe they were, and felt you were not the person for them, but, I feel as though, they used you mentally and emotionally in times they were going through distress. Let them be. Move forward. Be happy your alive. Be happy for what you have and I hope that in time, you will meet someone you truly respects and loves you for who you are, including your appearance.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

Love is mysterious

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007):

Maybe people like us aren't meant for love. I have first hand experience, but honey, no one can ever give you a yes or no question. It's simply impossible. Trust me I know.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007):

Hey ya ok first of all its all not about looks and if a woman thinks that and doesn't want your love then hell you don't want hers eathier! You will find someone that you love and that cares for you and loves you back it just takes time and there is someone out there for everyone so just hang in there oh and its not about the money eathier its all about your persanality!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006):

Love,

It will come to you hon. =]

And when you find the right person they will not care about your physique,

your richness,

or anything...

They will care about you.

3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006):

you will find true love, but women don't like men that make themselves too available. we like a man that is hard to get. it adds mystery to the man. meet a woman make her laugh take her out be nice too her but dont fall so hard. you want true love so bad you dont care with who and thats the problem. you dont have to be the most handsome or rich women like men that they cant get bottom line, so once you feel you've got a woman where you want her and you know she crazy about you then you can let go and ya'll can be crazy in love together. the key just dont be so needy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

Hey, I suggest those online dating sites... Seriously. It's NOT the best place to meet people, BUT it is a good place to start... 8] True.com, Matchmaker.com, Lavalife.com, Lemontonic.com... Mhm...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006):

you will find a lover.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006):

hi I really think you'll find true love just think of faith and believe in yourself that you'll find that women for you just remember you have someone very special you have that person inside of you that makes you handsome ok your handsome no matter what so believe in yourself and not let that person inside of you down just keep trying cause trying does alot

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006):

i think love is for everyone . pleaes dont give up im sure there is someoneout there for you im still looking for my mr right love and cuddels gemxxx

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A reader, Vampris, writes (5 January 2005):

I believe that love is for everyone.. and eventually you`ll find the right one.. I know how you feel.. Most people are all about looks and money and I think that is wrong.. I`m looking for a great guy with a great personality!! Good Luck to you.. I`m sure you`ll find someone some day

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A reader, Tish, writes (3 January 2005):

Don't get down on yourself. Maybe your looking for the wrong women. Someone once told me that love is somewhere that you would never think to look. You know that person that is always there, never leaves you life. Whether you talk every day or the pop in & out of your life every few years but you always know they will be there. An old friend from school, of someone that you can say hi to everyday on the way to work. The person that lives in the apartment across the hall that always seems to get her mail the same time you do. Look deeper. There is someone out there for you.

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