A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:To keep it short,I am 23 and I like two guys. I love my boyfriend(one year older), we're together for over 2 years and we are living together for one year now. But one year ago I met the other guy (3 years younger), we became very good friends, we chatted and sometimes we met together. But 2-3 months ago we were kissing, my boyfriend found out sth was wrong so I told him.. It was kissing only but u know.. I like them both and don't know what to lose none of them.Quite a lot of people have to face this triangle situation so my question is: Have you ever thought about some sort of threesome or some relationship where u and/or your boyfriend can have two "partners" (at least for some time)? I think these probably can be the relationships of the future,too, don't you think? (and after being with both u can better decide which one u like more or u stay with both, if it is acceptable for them ;) ). There are gay and lesbian relationships in today's world, we find it much more normal now than e.g. ten years ago so why don't we accept relationship with two partners as normal,too?(Sth else is if u want to start a family) I know that it's probably hard for some people to share a person with someone else but at least, it's worth to think about it.. Almost every relationship experiences a cheat sometime so probably it's not so unnatural to be also with someone else to avoid it, at least for some time.. The main problem probably is that the guy doesn't usually feel comfortable to know he is only one of the two, that is self-evident..I didn't mean to consider here all pros and cons of relationship with two men/women, I only wanted u to see also another possible way of solving some love triangles..
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kissing, lesbian, threesome Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DiovanLestat  + ♥, writes (15 July 2008):
 Threesomes and triangles are very difficult work. Relationships with two people are hard enough without trying to add a third person to the mix. The single gender in the middle, say, man-woman-man, or woman-man-man, has to do most of the organisation and most of the healing and the work. You have to make sure all three consent, and all three get on, you also have to make sure that nobody gets jealous and nobody feels left out. Difficult, difficult, difficult... But yes it can be done. Many people live like this all over the world, but they seldom make it public, because other people disapprove. Both your partners would have to love you very much to approve of this and continue without walking away. These types of relationships rarely last, and the trauma from the breakup can be deversating and last a life time. Things get even more impossible when children are involved. My strong advice is to leave this type of relationship alone.... But yes, it is possible, and here's the only case that I've heard of personally.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-caught-me-having-sex-with-my.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/problems-in-my-polyamorous-relationship-with-one-partner.html
A
female
reader, louxxlouxx + ♥, writes (15 July 2008):
 I think you are trying to convince yourself more than us that being with both of these men could work. You know deep down that it wouldn't be fair to expect your boyfriend to share you with another man when he has been with you for so long. Some people do have open relationships where both partners are free to get involved with other people but these are usually established right at the beginning before you get too emotionally involved with the other person, and they nearly always end in disaster because 1 partner will nearly always fall for the other 1 and want to end the casual relationship while the other is still enjoying it. Plus the whole purpose of having an open relationships is more for partners to have flings rather than other relationships because then you are no more committed to your partner than other men.
Would you really be happy for your boyfriend to have relationships with other women? If so then maybe you should think more about whether you even want to be with him because if you really loved him so much you would hate the thought of him being with another woman.
The only way this idea could work is if both men were willing to go along with that and how likely is that really? It sounds to me that you aren't ready for a serious relationship so maybe you should end things with your boyfriend and give the relationship with this other man a go. But what you have to think before this is are you really willing to let your long term partner go after a happy relationship with him?
I'm sorry but only you can make this decision. Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, Jen86 +, writes (15 July 2008):
choose one and stay faithful to the one you choose. Its the only way to be happy.
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