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Two people in as little as a week have brought me to a choice, and it's tearing me apart.

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2018)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

For someone bisexual who hasn't had any experience in dating or relationships, I've suddenly been forced with a choice. A woman at work has taken interest in me, and we talk every now and then. Surprisingly, she asked me out on a date. She's nice and funny, but I don't know much about her outside of work.

Now, this would be good if I hadn't been talking with a guy whom I share many similar interests and ideals. I'm really like the way he treats me, and he's made me so happy.

Two people in as little as a week have brought me to a choice, and it's tearing me a part. I've no idea which path will take me the farthest, and I no there's no turning back if I reach a dead-end.

All these years, I've never bothered with finding a partner, and life has decided to mock me by making me choose. I wish I knew why life has decided to haunt me. I know who I'm going to choose, but I just fear I'm making a mistake regardless...

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A male reader, TylerSage United States + , writes (18 May 2018):

TylerSage agony auntIt's called dating, and it's not illegal. Don't speak ill of your good fortune. First you had no one and now you have more than enough. See the good in it. Bask it in a bit.

I don't see why you can't date both and use the experiences to determine who you want to settle down with. However, a number of women are not big fans of men who "engage" with other men so that could be a potential hick up. You can let each person know that you're dating other people but you're open to a relationship.

I get that you probably don't want to offend of lead anyone on but you are a person and you needs too. Don't waste your options.

All the best.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia + , writes (17 May 2018):

femmenoir agony auntI agree with "Youcannotbeserious".

You don't need to rush at all, nor make any hasty decisions that you may later regret.

You definitely need to meet this guy in person first, so you can really assess your physical connection, before coming to any final conclusions.

UNTIL you meet anybody in the flesh, it's very hard to know with 100% certainty, as to whether you really do have any "proper/healthy" connection.

People can/will portray themselves quite differently "online", via skype, facetime, phone, etc;, PLUS, you can't even be sure, if they are, who they say they are.

Also, if things don't work out with either person, it's NOT going to be a "dead end" for you, because you can always CHOOSE to walk away from any bad relationship and you cannot be FORCED to remain there.

Just take things nice and slow, don't get in too deep and if things don't work out, that's fine too.

Be FRIENDS before being anything else and enjoy yourself.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 May 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhy do you have to make a choice straight away? Both relationships are in their infancy. Have you even met the guy you have been talking to? Dating is all about "trying before you buy".

And what do you mean "there's no turning back if I reach a dead end"? You can ALWAYS turn back, or go off in a different direction.

It doesn't sound like you are in a proper relationship with either person at the moment. Meet up, go on dates. At some point, if all goes well, the question of a proper relationship will crop up. By that time you will hopefully have a clearer idea of what or who you want. In the meantime just chill and enjoy their company.

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