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Any advice on dealing with my strange boss?

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Question - (16 May 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 May 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have recently started a new job that I really enjoy and my new boss is very strange. One minute he is full on saying the coffees on him as I done a great job ...then leaves before the pre arranged meeting time so we have no coffee and no communication ! We started texting due to him being unavailable for me to ask questions about the job, and some of his responses were as if he was treating me as a tiresome date rather than an employee so I explained I found it offensive when I was trying to do a good job and he responded he was only “ having a laugh “ and that he was prepared to ignore my communications and hoped I would continue to work hard. I feel as if he finds the pride I take in my work is a joke and am unsure if I am perhaps to serious - or him treating me as a joke for his own amusement . Welcome any opinion as his behaviour towards me spoiling an otherwise pleasant place to work. Thank you

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (18 May 2018):

femmenoir agony auntJust give yourself more time, to get to find out more about your boss's personality, as you've admitted you do like your job.

You wouldn't want to make any hasty/ill informed decisions, to only find out later, that your boss was actually a well meaning and respectful person.

I wouldn't encourage you to talk about this to anybody at work, no matter how nice they may act toward you.

In the office, word gets around very quickly, so always be mindful of who you speak to and what info you disclose.

Actually, it's probably best, if you just keep your connection with your boss, "strictly professional" and don't even engage in having coffee with him, even when HE SUGGESTS BUYING IT.

There is always a way to "politely" decline.

For eg: Oh no thank you (name). I've already had a drink, but thanks anyway.

Actually, i just reread part of your msg and i'm thinking, your boss may simply be a very busy person, as most bosses are and this is being interpreted the incorrect way.

It is possible that his mind is "overloaded" with stuff to do.

Try not to worry too much about your boss and just continue doing the good job you've been doing and i'm sure your boss is already noticing this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2018):

If you have only just started then maybe give it again little more time and you may grow to understand him. Maybe have a chat with others in the office and see what they think.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 May 2018):

Honeypie agony auntSounds like I'd be looking for a new job.

If not, then is he REALLY the only one who can answer the questions you have?

If there are others who can help you and answer your questions I'd simply stop relying on him.

Maybe some of this is also about "lost in translation" as in you don't know the guy, his sense of humor, personality and how he works. Maybe you need to have an ACTUAL meeting in PERSON with him to so things out so it doesn't go into work drama of over text. Besides dealing with issues like this shouldn't be done over text anyways.

And it might also be that he is just a SHIT boss and the reason there was a job opening is because no one else lasts long there because of him.

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