A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i saw my wife having sex with another man. they didn't see me and i watched until they finished. i didn't get angry, i got turned on. i want to tell my wife, but will she be disgusted with me? i really wanted to join in when i was watching, what would be the chance that she would like that? we have never talked much about sex. i love her and i want her to be happy. do i turn a blind eye to the whole thing??
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male
reader, poeslek  +, writes (1 September 2010):
just tell her to think of someelse she is doing right now. it worked for me, she will be shy but she will enjoy. tell er while you busy u want to see her with another guy.
A
male
reader, larryray2 +, writes (14 August 2010):
This is only my opinion, but it is because I have experienced it with two different wives. If it were me, I would find a way to tell her of your desire to watch her with other men. Also you said that you don`t talk to her about sex. That has to change. You both need to be honest and open with eachother about your sexual needs and desires. If you continue to ignore this you may have many other opportunities to watch her secretly. Men who like having sex with married women, often do not feel comfortable doing so while the husband watches. I spent alot of time outside of bedroom windows, watching her with other men. She either knew or suspected that I was watching, and was infact even more turned on by it. The men she was having sex with, had no clue, therefor they didn`t hold anything in reserve. My answer is, tell her what you saw, how much it turned you on, and that you would love to see it again.
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A
male
reader, RicKCuk +, writes (21 May 2010):
In all honesty, the fact that she called YOU the liar and not fess up to her doing it is a huge red flag that tells me she has no respect for you at all and in the end she will have someone else and half of what you have! What a f*cked up law that is with divorce! You bust your a**, she f*cks other guys behind your back and still gets half of everything YOU worked for! Leave! Begin life anew with someone you can communicate honestly with!
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A
male
reader, dmented22 +, writes (18 January 2010):
i also have this fantasy and have talked to my gf about it she says she cant do it right now but one day maybe she would. i think what your wife was doing was wrong but you might just be more into voyeur than swinging and swapping. i believe that to do that you need to talk about your desires with your wife other wise its just cheating and if she doesnt agree to your plan then it could have been she just wanted to see if it would be different being with another man. best of luck and if ya like to take pics we can trade a [email address blocked]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): just do a 3sum mate
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): You're a lucky guy. My biggest fantasy is to watch my wife have sex with other men. It's the size thing with me. I'm not that big, and I would love to see a well hung guy or guys bring out the real dirty girl in my wife. I can't imagine how turned on I would be to see her face and hear her moan and say how good it felt as a really well hung stud slid into her for the first time, and two on one would absolutely send me over the top.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): During lovemaking, bring in the subject of fantsy. Try to tell your fantasy of watching very indirectly. Go on with it for some time and when she is comfortable, tell her that you had already watched her having sex with another man. This MAY result in your joinging them to watch.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Ask her when you are having sex with her annd she is ready to cum - she'll explode and will say yes.
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (30 January 2008):
 I think a lot of people are neglecting the fact that you enjoyed seeing your wife with another man. That's fine. But the fact that YOU'RE fine with it probably means you have to do a little self discovery. There may be some underlying issues or maybe you just discovered a new side to your sexuality. Just remember, telling your wife that you're okay with her infidelity is telling her you're okay with her having a RELATIONSHIP with another man. And if you're fine with that, maybe you should discuss the possibility of an open marriage. Best of luck. -Jmo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): What should you do? Easy, leave her. No man or woman needs a partner like that. She obviously has no feelings for you and just wants to have sex with other men. Leave her and let have sex with whoever she wants. You can find a lot better than that. I got divorced when I was your age and I dated several women who were worlds better than that. More understanding, more loving and who would never say things like she has said to you. Even the women who broke up with me or I broke up with them never said anything even slightly bad to me or I to them.If you ever have a chance to get photos or video, do it, as Laura said. However, you may have lost your chance at that.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 You could have video recorded her sex sessions as proof. It is only your words against hers but you know the truth.
She has no more love and respect for you except for the security you provide.It is up to you to decide if you want a divorce or continue to live this way of life or she give up on him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): i put up the first post. i told her i saw everything and before i could tell her how i felt she told my i was lying to her and i just dreamed up what i saw and she never had another man in my bed. i told her i saw her from the hall and she said i was a liar, i was stupid, i was useless and told me she could a penis a lot bigger than what i have. she said if i say any more about this that i would get whats coming to me. she said for lying to her and accusing her of doing something she didn't do, she was not going to have any sex with me for the next three months. what will i do now??? she said prove she had sex with someone else. why did she react like that??
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A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Your marriage sounds as though it is going downhill. I don't know of anyone that would be ok seeing their wife/husband having sex with someone else. You need to speak to your wife (not about you watching) but about your marriage in general, she must be unhappy if she is willing to have an affair and risk her marriage. You need to concentrate on the two of you, no-one else. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): If i was you i would have to speak about it, sorry, but this is my view. How long has she been having sex with other guys? What if she has picked up some disease, or worse, aids and given it to you, do you still keep quiet, and die quietly? No, you need to be open and honest and talk to her about it. If you are ok with her having sex with others, then let her know, but you cannot go on with this in your head. Please talk to her. You were sneaky in watching, even if it did turn you on. You should of spoke up.But sneaking around like that wont make a healthy marriage work.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, emad khan  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Seems to me, that if you don't act, your marriage is not going to last.
I'll be quite surprised if it does. there are some issues here. would you be this turned on if you learnt that she was in love with this man, and prepared to leave you for him?
Resolve your marital issues here, and try to control your senses. thats my advice. We may desire to have or do, lots of things...this does not mean we should.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): i see laura has bought the church view of marriage hook, line and sinker and just spouts church propaganda. the fact is that there are as many ways of having a good marriage as there are marriages. if your desires can fit into your wife's marriage view then you will have an opportunity to increase the sexual excitement in your marriage. if it is not in her view of how marriage works, then you are going to be disappointed. no matter what, you must tell her you saw what happened. you must address the fact that she was cheating on you; you did not say that she told you ahead of time. you should tell her how it aroused you. maybe your lack of communication kept her from telling you her sexual desires. this could have been worked out to both of your satisfactions ahead of time. maybe she just doesn't care one way or the other and is interested in only her sexual satisfaction. maybe she likes the thrill of cheating???you won't know until you talk candidly to her. not talking gets you nowhere. i know. been there, done that. now i am single.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (27 January 2008):
If you wife is sleeping with another man , there is something wrong in your marriage.Either she is not getting enough or there is no love in your relationship.
If you say you love her and want her to be happy , you will have to close one eye on her activities.I do not think she would want you to join in their fun.
I think you have a very serious problem in your marriage and you need to address it and make your wife love you only.
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