A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i saw my wife having sex with another man. they didn't see me and i watched until they finished. i didn't get angry, i got turned on. i want to tell my wife, but will she be disgusted with me? i really wanted to join in when i was watching, what would be the chance that she would like that? we have never talked much about sex. i love her and i want her to be happy. do i turn a blind eye to the whole thing??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): just do a 3sum mate
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): You're a lucky guy. My biggest fantasy is to watch my wife have sex with other men. It's the size thing with me. I'm not that big, and I would love to see a well hung guy or guys bring out the real dirty girl in my wife. I can't imagine how turned on I would be to see her face and hear her moan and say how good it felt as a really well hung stud slid into her for the first time, and two on one would absolutely send me over the top.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (4 February 2008):
 every one seems to miss the point. if your wife being with a man and you watching it turns you on then i see a huge win win situation. she can bring home guys. above board and guilt free. you get the rush you enjoy of seeing your wife well banged and get the in the moment thrill of squeeking box springs thumping head board and wifey speaking in tongues. You need to think this way through. this may open a door that you will never get closed again Was this a momentary thrill are are you bent that way through and through. A couple i went to high school with incorporated me as the third wheel like this. It was the wierdest thing nailing his wife while he looked on. The first time there was a lot of wierdness on my part. Almost didn't get wood. But I just thought, I'm getting well laid. if he wants to watch fine by me. it got so he would pick up women at the bar and they would call me up to come and take her (the wife) out of the way so the bar girl would feel comfortable enough to put out. A few years later she died in a car wreck and I don't think i've seen a husband more devastated by the loss of his wife as he was. So it doesn't have to diminish your love at all. It may save your marriage if you can convince your wife that it's not some trick so you can plunge a knife into them as they thrash about. I hope that if she sees that she gets her cake and eats it too she will see it as a way to augment ya'lls sex life. I mean she does you both as it is. You are just tightening up on the proximity. I would stress that you don't buy her lies for a minute but promise her she can share her whole life with you and be safe and feel safe. That your love for her will not be diminished and that her willingness to put that kind of trust in you would be a renewed affirmation to a marriage that under different circumstances may be on its way out. Last ditch arguement would be to point out how selfish and hypocritical it is for her to seek out what blows her skirt up but expect you to carry on in the charade. Ultimatems are not a desired way to get what you want but you could say its that or divorce. But you don't sound like you want a divorce so that might backfire on you. If you can outlast her and get her trust and show her that there is more honor your way than slinking around and stabbing people in the back then all you have to do is convince her partner. If he is not in love with her he will probably roll over. If he is he may not, even though he knows that you sleep with her in the course of your married life. But keep reminding her that she has carte blanche to go out and pick up any friggin guy her little heart desires if her boyfriend is not willing. BLAH BLAH BLAH good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): During lovemaking, bring in the subject of fantsy. Try to tell your fantasy of watching very indirectly. Go on with it for some time and when she is comfortable, tell her that you had already watched her having sex with another man. This MAY result in your joinging them to watch.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Ask her when you are having sex with her annd she is ready to cum - she'll explode and will say yes.
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (30 January 2008):
 I think a lot of people are neglecting the fact that you enjoyed seeing your wife with another man. That's fine. But the fact that YOU'RE fine with it probably means you have to do a little self discovery. There may be some underlying issues or maybe you just discovered a new side to your sexuality. Just remember, telling your wife that you're okay with her infidelity is telling her you're okay with her having a RELATIONSHIP with another man. And if you're fine with that, maybe you should discuss the possibility of an open marriage. Best of luck. -Jmo
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A
male
reader, troubledtoomuch + ♥, writes (30 January 2008):
 What should you do? Easy, leave her. No man or woman needs a partner like that. She obviously has no feelings for you and just wants to have sex with other men. Leave her and let have sex with whoever she wants. You can find a lot better than that. I got divorced when I was your age and I dated several women who were worlds better than that. More understanding, more loving and who would never say things like she has said to you. Even the women who broke up with me or I broke up with them never said anything even slightly bad to me or I to them.If you ever have a chance to get photos or video, do it, as Laura said. However, you may have lost your chance at that.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 You could have video recorded her sex sessions as proof. It is only your words against hers but you know the truth.
She has no more love and respect for you except for the security you provide.It is up to you to decide if you want a divorce or continue to live this way of life or she give up on him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): i put up the first post. i told her i saw everything and before i could tell her how i felt she told my i was lying to her and i just dreamed up what i saw and she never had another man in my bed. i told her i saw her from the hall and she said i was a liar, i was stupid, i was useless and told me she could a penis a lot bigger than what i have. she said if i say any more about this that i would get whats coming to me. she said for lying to her and accusing her of doing something she didn't do, she was not going to have any sex with me for the next three months. what will i do now??? she said prove she had sex with someone else. why did she react like that??
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A
female
reader, Dawnie  + ♥, writes (27 January 2008):
 Your marriage sounds as though it is going downhill. I don't know of anyone that would be ok seeing their wife/husband having sex with someone else. You need to speak to your wife (not about you watching) but about your marriage in general, she must be unhappy if she is willing to have an affair and risk her marriage. You need to concentrate on the two of you, no-one else. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): If i was you i would have to speak about it, sorry, but this is my view. How long has she been having sex with other guys? What if she has picked up some disease, or worse, aids and given it to you, do you still keep quiet, and die quietly? No, you need to be open and honest and talk to her about it. If you are ok with her having sex with others, then let her know, but you cannot go on with this in your head. Please talk to her. You were sneaky in watching, even if it did turn you on. You should of spoke up.But sneaking around like that wont make a healthy marriage work.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, emad khan  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Seems to me, that if you don't act, your marriage is not going to last.
I'll be quite surprised if it does. there are some issues here. would you be this turned on if you learnt that she was in love with this man, and prepared to leave you for him?
Resolve your marital issues here, and try to control your senses. thats my advice. We may desire to have or do, lots of things...this does not mean we should.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): i see laura has bought the church view of marriage hook, line and sinker and just spouts church propaganda. the fact is that there are as many ways of having a good marriage as there are marriages. if your desires can fit into your wife's marriage view then you will have an opportunity to increase the sexual excitement in your marriage. if it is not in her view of how marriage works, then you are going to be disappointed. no matter what, you must tell her you saw what happened. you must address the fact that she was cheating on you; you did not say that she told you ahead of time. you should tell her how it aroused you. maybe your lack of communication kept her from telling you her sexual desires. this could have been worked out to both of your satisfactions ahead of time. maybe she just doesn't care one way or the other and is interested in only her sexual satisfaction. maybe she likes the thrill of cheating???you won't know until you talk candidly to her. not talking gets you nowhere. i know. been there, done that. now i am single.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (27 January 2008):
If you wife is sleeping with another man , there is something wrong in your marriage.Either she is not getting enough or there is no love in your relationship.
If you say you love her and want her to be happy , you will have to close one eye on her activities.I do not think she would want you to join in their fun.
I think you have a very serious problem in your marriage and you need to address it and make your wife love you only.
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