A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have a little bit of an issue, I'm dating a great guy, we've been together over a year. In the beginning, we met at University and his ex came here too. There was a little issue with her in the first five months of our relationship because she was still on his mind a lot. I've never experienced jealousy or self-esteem problems, but I'm going through them now, and don't know how to handle them.His ex is beautiful, smart and motivated. I'm a little behind, coming to university a few years late, she's younger than me but further ahead (almost finished with grad school, where as I'm about to attend). She is the president of a few different organizations and highly involved in so many volunteer programs and I'm the opposite. I get involved with outside organizations sometimes, but I'm not the presidential type. I've had issues with insecurities from her (not because my boyfriend says anything), because she has much larger boobs and is from the same country my boyfriend is, so I feel he views her as more attractive. We aren't as sexual as they were (again, he doesn't bring this up, I just know from when we were first talking as friends). And even though they've stopped talking, I feel sick whenever I think of her. What's worse, now she's been nominated for some outstanding award, so she's plastered all over the University websites for her environmental protection achievements. I'm afraid he'll see and think about how great and successful she is. I've also worried that he maybe doesn't think I'm as smart as she was, He's a math Ph.D, and she's in Environmental Sciences but she reads a lot and has a better vocabulary i think. I'm outgoing and smart (chemical engineering and biotechnology) and pretty, but somehow this girl is ruining my self esteem. Please give me some advice, thanks for reading!
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boobs, his ex, jealous, self esteem, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dave2  +, writes (24 July 2011):
If he wanted her, he would be with her. Don't let it get to you.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 July 2011):
 If she is ruining your self esteem, it is because you give her permission to.
Invite trouble in your life, and it accepts the invitation.
The worst thing you can ever do in a relationship is compare yourself to ex's.
She is an ex for a reason!
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