A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been working with this married man for 4 years everyone at work including him has told me that he really liked me, i asked hes best friend to tell him to leave me alone,as i knew he was married as the years went on we became really good friends talking about everything,, i know he was unhappy at home as there was no relationship between him and his wife, and that was confirmed by other work colleges,this guy carries a picture of me in his wallet, that we had taken at the works party,anyway 5 months ago we went out and yes we started a relationship he was planning on leaving his wife but she found out 2 weeks before and throw him out.he is leaving with his friends and told me he is not sure what he will do he likes his home life and being with his 16yr old son but now he saying he has to think about things.it feels like his wife and myself are waiting to hear which one of us he whats to be with,so in my confusson one night ihad too many glasses of wine rang him and finished it, as basicly i was not playing second fiddle.now i dont know if that was right thing to do....help
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female
reader, joannni +, writes (13 April 2012):
a married man will always tell you he's not happy with his wife. thats typical.
Do you actually expect a married man to tell you "yeh im very happy with my wife, i love her with all my heart, but i can have you too!"
haha! no, cause he knows that will riun his chances.
Chances are that he loves his wife, and they just had a normal marriage, the good times...and the bad times... all marriages are like that, but overall, the one you marry is the one you'll always love...!
so now you're wondering why he's having a hard time choosing, darling... i dont think he was choosing, he was just stuck in the friends house cause his wife wasnt allowing him home yet. and he was just telling you that, so you could calm down.
anyway, if you're his world, he would have chose you straight up...he's playing you like a fiddle. haha
Just dont date married men hun, no matter how charming you grow to know them :)
i hope you've learnt from your mistake. married men who are willing to cheat are crooked.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012): You did the right thing!!!
You was always second to his wife. You were NEVER number 1!
If you were number 1 he would Have BEEN left his wife for you but he didn't. The only reason why he's thinking about coming to you is because his wife found out. If she didn't u will still be number 2!! You should move on because he's going to cheat on you if he EVER leave his wife. But im sorry you was the back burner, sideline, number 2 ect. It sucks but u deserve much better..
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A
female
reader, crummyscreenname  +, writes (8 January 2012):
you did the right thing
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): You will always be second fiddle to this man. He is in love with someone else and will always make them first.
That person is HIMSELF. Do you really want this boy in men's clothing?
Because, if he can cheat WITH you, he can certainly cheat ON you later if he gets bored or doesnt get what he wants from you.
If he ends up with you; you might find yourself worrying about when he is away and who he spends his time with, because you know what he is capable of keeping an affair.
Something to think about,
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A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 I definitely believe that you did the right thing. I'm not judging you by saying this but so many women get involved with married men and have false hopes of men leaving their wives for them. It rarely ever happens. If he truly wanted to be with you he would've filed for a divorce as soon as he realized that he really wanted to be with you. It isn't fair for you to play second fiddle and good for you for realizing it, even if it had to take a few drinks to muster up the courage. If I were you I would try my hardest not to look back and to use this as a life learning experience. The next time that you date, find a single guy that you know will put you fisrt because a married man never will. Plus if he did it to one woman, chances are he would do it to you as well. Know that you're worth more than that! Good Luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): He wants his wife back. Just wait for chances she wont have him back. Just remember your place in it all. I'm glad i'm not his wife.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (7 January 2012):
 Actually, I think you did the right thing. Unfortunately, you had some liquid courage and now you are rethinking with more clarity. It isn't fair that he is leaving you (and his wife) in the lurch like this. What do you really want? Have you thought it through? Use this separation time to figure out what you want in life. To be someone's "alternate" choice isn't fair. Yes, he has a lot to lose if he chooses you, his family life, probably some financial things and some stability. He may not have the courage to leave things and maybe it was easy for him when he didn't have to make the choice.
Sometimes it take meeting someone new who makes you feel alive to leave a bad marriage but the fair thing to do is to leave the marriage first, sort out yourself and then move on to someone new. He wasn't ready to be in a relationship with you and he shouldn't have done so.
I think you made your statement to him and you should not contact him and leave him alone to figure out his life. You figure out yours.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 January 2012):
 Only you can say if you did the right thing or not, what I just don't understand is that you seem to have absolutely no moral scruples "dating" a married man.. Why do you think it's OK?
And why would you even WANT to be with a man who doesn't respect his wife or you? He's going to stick with his wife and get himself a new "other woman".
Of course he told you he was leaving his wife... it's much easier to get a women into bed if she think she doesn't have to compete with a wife.
He is so not a keeper. I hope the wife divorces him and find a real man. And I hope you take a good hard look at this guy. Is he really who he claim to be? Is he really "that" good of a person? And if he did leave his wife ( or rather if she doesn't take him back) could you ever really fully trust him?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): He had no intention of leaving his wife for you. The reason he isnt with you is that he dont want to blow his chances of her taking him back. Neither you or his work collegues are in any position to know whether or not he had a relationship with his wife. Of course he did. Its the oldest self lie in the book. When you do married men you find good decent guys avoid you like the plague. One thing you have learned from it is you now know just how his wife feels.
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