A
female
age
51-59,
*onfusedagain!
writes:Met a guy back in the summer who was in early stages of divorce. Saw each other for a while, pressure from all angles got to him and contact between us ceased. I emailed him about 6 weeks later and our friendship restarted. Been seeing each other every weekend for 6 weeks now BUT decree absolute came through and it's set him thinking. Says that he feels that he needs to breathe, isn't sure whether he will see his kids christmas etc. etc. and not sure whether he can commit to anything else. Was a nice calm conversation which ended with hugs and him saying that I could still text and email funnies to him and asking whether he could call me. Also told me how happy he was before when I suddenly emailed him out of the blue after he had run away the first time.What to do? Only been 3 days but am having trouble not contacting him and I know that deep down not contacting him is possibly the correct thing. Haven't even sent any funnies.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): I agree with others. Dissapear for awhile, and see what happens.You know how men don't like to be chased, they would rather do the chasing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Arnold Glasow said:
"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg...not by smashing it".
No matter how difficult it might be, sometimes it is best to simply stand by, be silent, be patient, be hopeful, be understanding and wait.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Contacting him shouldn't do any harm, if you get no responce you know you have to move on, if you do get an answer you will be probably happy you did contact him. If you do not contact him you will always wonder what would have happened if you did.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (19 November 2008):
 Hi there,
NO CALLING!!
I would really leave him alone and not contact him. I do know how hard this is but he knows where you are when he wants to find you. If you have left very positive images in his mind and have been a good friend and listener he will be in touch. It is just now he wants to be on his own to think about things. When my husband left me he wanted to be left alone even though he had a girlfriend. Neither of us had any contact with him for ages. Eventually he did call his girlfriend but she had to wait 6 weeks for the call. Divorce, guilt, children can all play on a man's mind so just give him some space and keep yourself amused and busy until he resurfaces. Whatever you do don't start texting or ringing as its not what he wants but I feel sure he will call soon. It is a waiting game I am afraid. in the meantime look after yourself and do things you like doing - anything to pass the time. Nice food, clothes shopping, bubble baths etc etc. All the best,
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