A
female
age
30-35,
*erseystrong11
writes:I've been talking to this guy and we really hit it off. We went on a few dates and immediately had a connection. He met my family and they liked him and we planned for me to meet his family next. As we got closer, we talked about more serious things. He has family issues (his mom left his dad). We talked about this and he said he rarely talks to his mother and she kind of went psycho. I told him about how after past relationships, I have trust issues. I explained the situation to him and he seemed understanding. I noticed that when I started dating him, although my trust issues/paranoia were still there, it was slowly improving. Sometimes I would still find myself occassionally making comments about not believing what he said. One time he got really mad and we didnt talk for a few days. I apologized. He came back and We talked about it and the problem was solved. He told me he realized it wasnt really a big deal and he should not have freaked out. I realized that if this was going to work, i was going to have to trust someone for once. Any time i felt uneasy, i would bite my tongue or remind myself of almost losing him the last time. We became "official". One night we were texting about people we dated previously. I Made a comment about how many girls chase after him. He said not to worry and that "they're all gone.". Of course i didn't believe that. I told him that "i didnt think so" and he asked how i would know. So i said I really wouldn't but i just had a gut feeling. After this, he went to sleep. I talked to him the next morning and everything seemed fine, then he vanished. He had other big things happening in his life so at first i wasnt alarmed. Then he was gone for several days and I noticed he blocked me from contacting him. I was hurt and confused. I waited several more days. I called him and asked if he was okay, he talked normally and said he was fine and with his family. I asked him why he blocked me. He said, "I'm fed up and I dont want to talk anymore". So i asked why and he went silent. So i said "i thought you were fine friday (the day after i made that comment" and he hung up. I am definitely not going to contact him again, but i'm not sure what to do from here. It seems i really upset him, yet he knew from the start about some "baggage" i had. In my opinion, he reacts a little overboard on things that aren't a big deal. Should I continue living my life and if he ever returns, so be it?
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 June 2015):
 He did in his own way break up with you. His "I'm fed up and I don't want to talk anymore". was his way of saying - I'm done.
You may think he overreacted, but I don't know many people who will accept being called a liar, because the partner is insecure. I don't know HOW many times I see people using PAST bad dating experiences to "demand" constant reassurance from a new partner.
You having a hard time trusting or being insecure doesn't give you a free pass to make up accusations. And having those kid of conversations, SHOULD not happen over text or phone but in person.
You need to find a way to DEAL with your "baggage" as you call BEFORE you start dating again. A NEW partner is NOT responsible for what an EX did to you. And you shouldn't hold what an ex did OVER the head of a NEW partner. That just isn't fair. Let's say your ex cheated. THAT is NOT your new partners fault! So don't assume that ALL men will cheat and thus you have the right to make accusations, JUST in case he cheats.
Things weren't "fine". THAT is why he blocked you. He told you his mom was kind of psycho? So... when you started accusing him of lying WHAT image do you think sprang to mind for him? HIS PSYCHO mom. He doesn't TALK to her (my guess because it's impossible to deal with, it was easier to cut her off) so... THAT is why he cut YOU off.
He doesn't deal with "complications" well. He rather stick his head in the sand and block people if it gets to difficult for him to handle. It's HIS was of managing stress.
Consider him gone out of your life. WORK on your OWN issue. While trust IS earned, starting off a new relationship BASED on DISTRUST (based on a previous partner's actions) is like bungee-jumping with a rope around the neck - NOT viable. YOU need to DEAL and WORK on your trust issues.
A
female
reader, jerseystrong11 +, writes (28 June 2015):
jerseystrong11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response!
I hope your situation works out for you.
Let me know what happens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2015): I had something similar happen to me - yet it was his dad my guy had issues with & he would fly off the handle at the simplest of things! Men with issues can get funny with you. They are very good at going in huffs and 'blocking' people.
Maybe give him a few more days & see if he comes round - sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I am still pining over a guy who just cut contact - so you will need to find something to occupy your mind in the mean time to take your mind off him. Good luck!
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