A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay soo. Im 13 and i am over weight. please dont comment giving me tips on how to lose weight or on how to be healthier, im offended enough.i have low self asteem when it comes to my body, i have a stunning face but my body just isnt right, and the most hottest guys in school always say "__ is pretty, but shes fat" and people always hurt me that was without realizing. i dont know what to doo..and if a guy likes me i ALWAYS have doubts like "what if he just wants sex, what if hes just doing it to make fun" i dont know whats wrong with me. it just seems as if im hideous.EVERYBODY always compliments me at school, parties, everywhere i go but they always compliment my facial features or my hair, never my body you know why? BECAUSE IM A FAT PIG!!please help mehow do boost my self asteem?should i get offended when people say im pretty but fat??
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
 Any followups to add from the question asker?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009):
Of course saying you are pretty but fat is rude! As a general rule kids around the age lf 13 can be incredibly rude and cruel to each other. I guess it is a rite of passage because it has been going on for generations. The trick is not to make what they say and do a part of you or a part of your self esteem...that comes from inside you.
That said you aren't feeling so good about yourself because you aren't happy with your weight. I mean a lot of young girls think they are fat when they absolutely aren't and most people don't walk up to you and compliment your body. If your weight is in the obese range for your height, then you really want to work on getting your weight down because you are more likely to be and obese adult, you can get away healthwise when you are a child, but obese adults are at a much higher risk for all kinds of health problems from cancer to heart disease.
You don't want suggestions on how to loose weight, well fair enough, but if you want an actual solution to this problem of low self esteem and weight, then this is the solution. Obesity in young teens and children is at an all time high in the USA, see decades ago, when I was a kid, we actually went outside every day after school and ran our butts off playing dodge ball, softball, kickball, swimming, running, biking, playing cowboy and indians. That might sound lame to you because of all the WII programs and computer games, but I am telling you the simple formula for weight is you have to burn off the calories that you consume, inactivity and loss of muscle tone means you can eat very little to maintain your weight...you will continue to gain each year with this kind of a lifestyle. I don't know if that is yours,,but you sure would not be alone if all you did was sit in front of the computer or TV....and sit at your desk at school.
So get up and get moving girl, and I hope this helped you in some way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): First, people shouldn't be saying you're pretty BUT fat... if your pretty, say your pretty, you know that right now you're carrying more weight than you'd like. You need to celebrate the positive... none of this ____ but ____. bs...Your very young, and what you need to know is that your body as a serious amount of growing to do. Soon your going to be hitting a serious growth spert and are likely to add alot of height to your body. I know that this may not bring much instant relief, but I was lucky enough to graduate high school with the same kids I started primary school. At our first renunion, it was AMAZING how beatuiful all the "girls" had become, especailly the "late bloomers"- the guys all went down hill after highschool, some azamingly so (the athleats had it worse... fat and bald). You just need to make it through the next few years and let nature take it's course- I suspect at 16 you're going to be amazed at how you look.Just know that thousands of us when through similar experiences, not a single one of us enjoyed it, but we made it and you will too!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): You're going through puberty and your body is changing; it's likely you will grow taller and your weight will even out. In the meantime, the first step to raising your self esteem is to stop referring to yourself as a "fat pig". Accept yourself as you are and understand that you are perfect as you are and that you deserve to be loved and respected no matter what size you are.In my culture being curvier is not seen as a bad thing, and women who are heavy walk around like they are the sh*t because they feel they are. And you know what? Men flock to them. That's because as much as you think that guys only want a skinny girls, there are many who find a girl who is confident and has a great personality.Carry yourself with confidence and treat yourself well. Buy pretty clothes that make you feel good. You have beautiful hair, flaunt it, girl! You'd be amazed at how many people probably envy your beauty. Once you learn to love and accept yourself, you will care less about the back-handed compliments people give you.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (4 November 2009):
 ok...I am trying to be nice because you are still a child. I'm 22 so you are a child. Anyway.If you want to gain confidence and the thing that is holding you back from being happy is your weight, then lose it.I am an exercise science major and a personal trainer etc. I have to agree with pinktopaz when I say you need to not complain but take control of the situation.Also Tisha is right in saying you need to say your height and weight, because most girls your age think they are fat when they are too thin.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
Before I can answer this question, I want to know what your height and weight actually are. Thanks!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 November 2009):
So you don't want tips on how to lose weight or be healthier, but you don't know what to do? You're unhappy about something that you can probably do something about. I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but I'm just being honest, if you're so unhappy about being overweight then do something about it instead of complaining about it.
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